


Disguised by Loyalty

by AdaleneMay



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, I have issues, Idk why I am doing this, Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Training (Star Wars), Kinks, Kyber Crystals, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Lightsaber Battles, Lightsaber Used as a Sex Toy, Lightsabers, Lots and Lots of Filthy Smut, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Possessive Kylo Ren, Possible Character Death, Reader is force sensitive, Rey Kenobi, Sith Training, Slow Burn, Submissive Reader, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, and some wholesome family moments too, bc you need balance in life, don't expect it to follow the movie order bc it wont, dont at me i feel bad enough already, eventually, i have commitment issues so no promises that i'll actually finish this, i made luke skywalker a low key jerk in this, i used the good bits of canon and just told the rest of it to fuck right off, i wanna be featured on that tumblr for creative tags, i would die for mark hamil, idk haven't decided yet - Freeform, its so sad that this is one of the best things i've ever created, lots of kinks, obvi its dom kylo ren bc who doesn't like a good dom fic, reader has force bond with kylo, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 46,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26121664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdaleneMay/pseuds/AdaleneMay
Summary: After being caught trying to sell First-Order weapons on the black market you are brought face to face with the notoriously cruel (and also extremely sexy) Kylo Ren. In exchange for your friend's freedom, you are kept as a prisoner of the order and Ren's personal guest. Will you submit to the order or will you fight for your freedom?A lot happens in this and I'm shit at writing summaries but if you're into that dom-sub relationship, kinky fight scenes with glow sticks, a really shitty understanding of star wars politics, A N G S T, cute fluff and uh lotssss of smut (eventually) then this is the fic for you!!p.s I promise my writing is better than this ^^ pls don't leave based on this, I promise its good. At least that's what my friend said
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. Captured

"I knew it," you said accusingly

"I knew you'd be the end of me" you glanced over at Damon who was looking far too smug for your liking. He never did take the risks of your jobs seriously.

"Oh stop being so dramatic, everything is gonna be fine."

"No! Everything is not gonna be fine, look around Damon, we're in space jail!"

He laughed "Calm down Klaa! I'll just explain that this is all one big misunderstanding and they will let us go. You'll see, we will be outta here by the end of the cycle"

You couldn't believe how nonchalant he was being. That bastard and his over-zealous ass were only reasons you were sitting here chained to a bench in the back of a First-Order transport. While you weren't sure _exactly_ what it was that you were moving you were well aware that the product you were smuggling out of the western reaches was more… illegal… than what you usually handled. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Should've just stuck with the spice, the first order seemed to turn a blind eye to the spice trade, whatever they'd found in those crates was enough to have you arrested on the spot. You might very well be on your way to your execution and _he_ has the nerve to be smirking. Bastard.

"You over-ambitus fuck whistle! If you had just listened to me and stuck to the plan we wouldn't be here!"

"Well excuse me for trying to make a little extra dosh. I rather liked the idea of being able to make triple our usual profits in just one trip, and… if I remember correctly you weren't so opposed to the idea yourself."

He stared into you and you relented. Your stomach rolled with guilt and you looked away from his gaze. Your hands were shaking slightly and you moved to place them under your thighs. Taking a few deep breaths you closed your eyes.

"Don't worry" he sighed, sensing only now the level of your anxiety "I promise Klaa, I will get you out of this"

Klaa, his nickname for you that you had hated with a passion when he first started using it now brought you a sense of comfort and familiarity. You earned this title of endearment a few weeks after you first met Damon. He was shocked to learn that you had never used a speeder before and took it upon himself to teach you this vital life skill.

Sitting atop the bulky metal machine Damon instructed you to slowly turn the right handle towards yourself. Unfortunately, you hadn't heard the part about turning it slowly as your heart was racing in your ears and you took off at a blinding speed, heading straight for the small scrap metal store in front of you. From that day on Damon called you Klaa after the Klaa fish of Naboo that were known for their darting bursts of speed.

For the remainder of the flight, you avoided eye contact with your companion and best friend of 2 years. Damon was your rock, always had been always would be. Life, before you had met him, wasn't something you liked to dwell on. He knew you better than anyone. It was in his nature to be reckless and impulsive, you, as the more practical one should have tried harder at talking him out of this. You were just as much to blame as him.

Shortly after a less than pleasant landing the door to the storage room you were locked in opened and two troopers in striking white armour lead you down a vast series of metallic corridors. The one holding your arm dragged you to a door as they typed a code into the access port. Damon and the trooper who had him by the elbow rushed past.

"Where are you taking him?" The trooper by your side ignored the question and pushed you roughly into the room

"Ouch!" You stumbled forward only to be grabbed and strapped to a flat table.

Lying flat on your back you could only see the trooper in your peripheral. That made you uncomfortable, not being able to see where the danger was, it put your nerves on edge. The room was quiet, aside from the sound of the trooper working on your restraints and then the mechanical whirring as you were tilted upright still strapped to the table. The trooper stood back from you slightly, his expression unreadable as he remained hidden and anonymous under the mask.

"Prisoner what is your name?" His voice was loud, confident.

You weren't afraid of him but something about the blackness in the eyes of the mask made you uneasy. When you didn't answer the pressed a button on a remote you hadn't seen him grab. The place on your bare collar where the metal restraint touched your skin brunt under the electric current. You screamed, but the trooper didn't cease.

"Your name?!"

"Agh! y/n" as suddenly as it had begun the searing pain had stopped.

While the patch of your skin that was burnt ached and throbbed the relief of having the current removed was instantaneous.

"Family name and planet of birth"

"Y/n Inco. Naboo"

"When you were captured you had onboard your ship some cargo. Where did this cargo come from?"

"I have no idea" you answered honestly and quickly.

You weren't about to subject yourself to another round of pain.

"Were you aware that the cargo you were caught trying to smuggle was First-Order property?"

First-Order property?

"Wait what?" You were genuinely confused.

There is no way Damon would be that stupid as to steal from the First-Order. Surely not.

"To whom were planning on selling said property?"

The trooper continued with his line of questioning as your palms started sweating and your teeth ground together. That mother kriffing selfish, idiotic moron! Of all the dumb things Damon had done, this was by far the dumbest. Stealing from the first bloody order! Your rage went unnoticed by your interrogator who took your silence as an attempt to lie about your intentions with the stolen goods and so the taser was back and this time it was pulsing into your ribs, too close to your heart, you could feel its rhythm being thrown offbeat.

Your vision was getting blurry as you fought to stay conscious. The taser being pressed even harder into your side. Tears blurred your vision and your throat ached as you screamed.

"ANSWER ME! ARE YOU WORKING FOR THE RESISTANCE?!" Abruptly the pain was gone.

Over the noise of your breathing, you could hear a faint groaning. Trying to see the source of the sound you tried to turn your head to no avail. The restraints around your head were too tight. The door to your cell opened again and there was the sound of footsteps

"What the?" another trooper had entered the cell

"Subdue the prisoner!"

Before you had a chance to assess the situation you felt a heavy blunt object hit you on the side of your head. Red spots filled your vision and everything went black.

You weren't entirely sure how long you'd been unconscious for, your body felt stiff like you hadn't moved for a long while. Opening your eyes you tried to get yourself orientated. You were still strapped to the table in the First-Order cell. You pulled at your restraints. Nothing. It was then you noticed a black shadow in the corner of your eye. You froze. The figure walked towards you and stepped into view.

"Welcome. You've gained quite the reputation among my troopers. I'm impressed, no one has bested EXR-653 before" It was hard to determine his tone through the voice coder but something in his pitch suggested that he was mocking you.

You knew who you were looking at. The stories about the cruel First-Order leader Kylo Ren were a favourite of Damon's. It was said he could bring a room of men down to their knees with a sweep of his hand, or draw out the deepest thoughts and secrets of anyone he used his mind tricks on. According to Damon, he was ruthless, responsible for slaughtering entire villages and all for the bidding of his supreme leader.

"Well, it wasn't by lack of effort on his part" you quipped.

The masked man didn't reply. Truth be told, you had no idea what had happened to your interrogator but you weren't about to admit that to your captor. Ren's gaze seemed to burn into your skin, almost as if you could feel where his eyes -hidden behind the black visor- traced along the lines of your body. The silence was uncomfortable and your agitation began to show as your eyes darted around the room, desperately trying to find something that could be used as a way to escape.

"There is no use." You glared at the robed figure

"What were you going to do with the stolen weapons?" You stayed silent, doubting you'd be able to disguise the uncertainty in your voice if you spoke.

He tilted his head slightly as if he were trying to get a better view of your face through his mask.

"You can tell me or I will take it from you" His hand came to your face then, so close he was almost touching you. If it weren't for the leather gloves that covered his fingers you could probably feel the heat from them against your cheek.

The act was out of place within the scene, too intimate and gentle. Your muscles tense, your adrenaline spiking in anticipation for the blow, the hit that was sure to come. Instead, however, there was an ache, only dull in the beginning, sitting at the very front of your head. He was trying to enter your mind, to get to your innermost thoughts and memories.

The ache intensified into a heavy pressure like that of a migraine only, the longer the gloved hand stayed outstretched towards your face the more intense it became. The pressure mounted until it was agonisingly painful. Your brain felt like it was caught in a vice, being squeezed within an inch of its life.

"Let me in smuggler, it will only hurt as long as you resist me"

A part of you wanted to give in, to stop fighting against the pain and let it consume you. But you couldn't do that, you wouldn't. You wouldn't submit to the coward behind the mask. Clenching your teeth together as tight as you could bare you pictured a wall in your mind. You stood behind it, cradling a small ball of white light in your arms. The wall in front of you was shaking with the pain but it remained standing. You were unsure as to why you decided to think of a wall, it just made the most sense to you, you were trying to keep Kylo Ren out and an imaginary wall might give you the mental strength needed to protect your thoughts.

Ren took a step closer to you and brought his masked face down near his hand.

"Stop fighting me!" his voice, even through the distortion, sounded desperate as if he too were enduring something strenuous.

In your mind's eye, you began to see a black mist creeping over the edges of the wall. The ball in your arms began to vibrate and seemed to dissolve in your hands. Though the shape of the ball was gone, the white light that made it was enveloping you, overflowing and seeping out of your hands. Acting on pure instinct you pushed the light from your hands towards the black mist. Instead of the blackness disappearing as the light approached it, it mingled. The light and dark flowing over and under the other, mixing, blending together. It was beautiful, the light and dark almost dancing over each other. While the sight was truly dazzling, it was also wrong, why didn't the blackness cower from the light? That is what was supposed to happen. Darkness thrived on its own, like the pitch black of the mines from your childhood, but it was always chased away by the light of the stones that the workers carried. Why didn't this darkness run from your light?

The pain in your head stopped and the masked man beside you quickly drew back, holding his hand near his chest like he'd injured it. He had taken a step away from you but he was still close enough that you could hear his laboured breathing from under his mask. He was panting, as were you.

"How are you doing that?" You would have asked for clarification but he suddenly turned on his heel and stormed out of the door. You watched after him, surprised at how empty the room now felt with him gone. That was… bizarre. Had his abrupt departure meant that you had successfully stopped him from reading your thoughts? You went back into your mind to see if the wall was still standing. The wall was gone but so was most of the darkness.

You stood alone in a vast emptiness of white and yellow light, it swirled around your ankles, playing like a loth-cat would with the legs of its owner. There was a small bit of darkness that remained. A thread that whipped around like a ribbon in a strong breeze. It didn't seem to grow bigger or to stretch out and mix with the light as it had before. You assumed that Ren must have been the one leave it behind. Did he leave it on purpose? You didn't know how these things with the force worked and you highly doubted you would ever be at liberty to ask whether he intended to leave a part of his darkness behind. So, it would be best if you let it be. It didn't seem to be harmful and so you returned your attention to the yellow light that moved around you.

You stayed like this for a long while, in a meditative trance of sorts, experimenting with the light. Manipulating it and playing with it. Trying to push it towards the dark thread to make the darkness disappear to no avail. You thought back once again to your childhood.

_Your mother called your name warmly and held her hand out towards you._

_"It's not so bad, I'll be with you the whole time. You'll never be alone" Your mother's words of comfort did little to soothe your nerves._

_It was your first time venturing into the dark mines that your mother worked in. Up until this moment you had been unaware of how heavy the air inside was, how oppressive the darkness was. It was sad to learn that this is what your mother and so many other people had to live with every day. You wanted to go in, to help your friends, to not be a burden because deadweight never lasted long around here. You knew that you had no choice in the matter, you either went in, and worked in the mines like everyone else, or you would be taken away. The only reason you hadn't been subjected to the mine labour yet was because Dan had managed to give you other duties around the house._

_You should have listened to Petra, he warned you that your affection for the little Aak dog, Gilli, you had adopted would be your undoing. Sure enough, one day when you were out in the garden with Gilli you had been so preoccupied with the animal that you hadn't heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Upon seeing you, a young and fit slave wasting her potential playing instead of working, Heeqoss had requested Dan give you up and have you return to Nall Hutt with him. You weren't sure why he did it but Dan insisted that you remain within his charge, he had said that you were invaluable in the mines. After that day Dan took your Aak dog and shot him in the courtyard and ordered you to work alongside your mother in the mines. Even after all that you still found it hard to believe that you were condemned to spending the rest of your days mining plasma powder. Your mother sensed your unease and stepped towards you, holding out her other hand, the one that was holding the small rock that glowed a brilliant white light. "_

_This will bring you comfort my darling, as long as you have this the darkness cannot touch you" She was right, taking the rock from her grasp and walking into the mine you watched as the darkness in front of you was pushed away by the white light._

How you wished for that rock now, something to help you fight the darkness that had been dancing with your light. You were unsure how long you remained like that, eyes closed, lost in your thoughts. It was Kylo Ren's voice that ripped you away from your memories

"Wake up smuggler!" Immediately you were on your guard. Eyes never leaving his masked face.

"I would like to try something, but you must not resist me" he stepped close to you and once again held his hand towards your face.

You braced yourself for the onslaught and retreated into your mind, trying to picture the wall again. There was no wall and the darkness was back in full force, swirling around the fast disappearing light that surrounded you. You fought with everything you had against the blackness. You noticed though that the darkness wasn't trying to push your light away, instead, it was trying to grab a hold of it. The small black thread that had been in your mind before was now reaching out for your light, trying to consume it. Now you fought to keep your light away from the black tendrils.

You were sweating and panting through the mental anguish. This time Ren wasn't straining like you were.

He was at ease, almost calm when he said "Let go"

"No!" You hissed through gritted teeth. You would not allow him to take your light. You didn't understand why you had to protect it, but letting the black mist absorb the light was not something you could allow. You fought harder pulling the light closer to your chest trying desperately to mould it into that small ball so that you could cradle it in your arms and protect it from the darkness.

"If you wish to ever see your friend alive again you will obey me and let go" you froze.

Heart beating heavier and louder than it had when you were under the assault of the taser. You stared at the man who loomed over you as the words sunk in. If you fought him he would kill Damon. Hesitating for a moment, you closed your eyes and took one last look at your ball of light. It was so small and fragile, the darkness would surely destroy it. To gather the strength you needed to conform to the monster you pictured Damon as the ball. Bright, Damon. Innocent, kind Damon.

He needed you now as the darkness -as Kylo Ren- threatened to destroy him. Damon who every way was the only source of light in your life. You blinked tears from your eyes as you started letting go, loosening your grip on the light in your arms. As you began to yield, the dark tendrils lurched forward, grabbing hold of the wispy ends of the light and pulling it into the black abyss. It was being unravelled like a ball of wool. Watching the light be dragged into the dark shadows was heartbreaking. Unconsciously, in an attempt to save the light you once more grabbed tightly, holding on until the line went taut.

"Don't be afraid" Ren soothed.

You opened your eyes and stared at the masked man. You wondered if he could see everything you did, the darkness and the light. Unexpected as it was, his words did offer you some reassurance and you let go. Completely this time.

"Good girl" He almost sounded as if he had hummed the praise.

Letting go was a very strange feeling. Even with your eyes open and being unable to mentally see the light and dark that surrounded you. You could feel it. Like an invisible rope that was being pulled from your chest. As the light was removed, a coldness replaced it. You could feel the wisps of darkness inside you as it explored the new environment, you could feel the light, the warmth of it as its core remained anchored in your chest. It was drawn towards the emptiness. The emptiness that resided within the darkness. The darkness of Kylo Ren.

The movement of light and dark stopped. For a moment you were at peace. There was a thread between the two of you. It was invisible but there. As the man took an experimental step back you could feel the connection become tight and then slacken some to allow for the new distance. The darkness in your chest was foreign. It felt cold but it wasn't unpleasant because you could feel the warmth of your light that was within Kylo.

When the cold began to dissipate and the familiar warmth replaced it you looked at the empty space between you and Kylo expecting to physically see the exchange occurring. The light was returning to you. Moving along the line that stretched between you and your captor. You were sure it was the same light that Ren had just consumed, it felt the same, but also different somehow. Closing your eyes you saw why. The light was moving around you as it had before, the yellow wisps circling your whole body. Only now, the dark thread that before was blowing so innocently was entwined with an identical thread of yellow light.

You opened your eyes to see Kylo still standing over you. Your fists clenched tightly. How dare he. Whatever he had done to you before. It had left a piece of his darkness behind. He could have let it be, let it blow aimlessly unattached to you. But he didn't, of course he didn't. Instead, he invaded your mind again and ensured that a piece of his darkness was securely tied to your light, from this moment on a part of this monster would always be with you. Tied to you. A slice of darkness forever entangled with your light. Bile rose in your throat.

"What did you do?" venom dripping from your voice

"I used your power. Borrowed it to make myself stronger"

"How?"

"I'm not sure. I've never done it before" He sounded amazed and impressed with his efforts.

You had had some idea of his cruel ways, but you never imagined you would have the horror is experiencing them first hand. He had corrupted your mind for his benefit. He had done it without knowing whether it would work or not. He would have let you writhe in pain for hours if that what it took. He didn't care if you suffered, if you lived or if you died. He only cared about himself. a selfish monstrous creature by nature.

"Smuggler" he spat.

You hated the way he said that. Like the word was poison and left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Y/n" you gave him your birth name. Useless as it might be a small part of you hoped that by hearing your name, your real name, he would acknowledge that you were a person and not completely disposable.

"Y/n, I can see that you are afraid"

"I'm not afraid of you" you snapped back quickly.

No, you weren't afraid of him, he was a monster. If you kept that in mind then his actions didn't seem outrageous. Monsters did monstrous things and he was a very good monster. Cruel actions were to be expected.

"Oh I know," he replied, voice light

"An abnormality but true nonetheless… No, I know your fear is not of me but for the fate of your little friend"

Damon. You had yielded to the monster, you gave him what he wanted, you had let go and been forever changed as a result.

"Don't you dare hurt him!" his head jerked slightly as though your outburst took him by surprise

"Hmm, Klaa, that's what he called you isn't it?" He was mocking you again.

The sound of your nickname coming from Ren made your blood boil but you tried to hold your composure.

"You're in no position to make threats smuggler. However, I am willing to offer you a trade of sorts"

Your brain slowed and tried to make sense of the words "A trade?"

"Yes, it seems my master is rather intrigued by you." He began pacing around the small cell now in classic bad guy monologue style

"If you agree to stay here then I will release your companion" You were confused. You had nothing to offer him

"You want me to stay here? Why?"

"You have something I want"

"And what is that?" He stopped pacing and faced you head on

"Your power" he replied simply as if it were very obvious.

You couldn't help but laugh. He had you strapped to a table. Unable to move. Unable to fight back. He had brought you to tears. Caused you to scream in agony and had identified your biggest weakness with little effort on his part, worse, he was now using that weakness as a bargaining chip and he knew it. He knew he had you backed into a corner. No escape. The very notion that you had power. A power that was worth something to Kylo Ren. It was preposterous.

He didn't react to your laugher. He remained still. Feet planted apart, staring into you. Again you felt the heat of his gaze through the visor of his mask but you didn't look away.

"I have no power, no power that would be of any benefit to you"

"See that's why this is such a rare opportunity" he stepped forward quickly so he was in your personal space

"You have no idea of the unique power you possess, one that my master says he has only seen once before. That power is now within my grasp. You can agree to stay, come willingly and your friend will go free… or I will kill him and keep you here regardless. Either way, I win, what I am offering you is only to bribe your compliance"

A bribe? Even through the clever wording, you could hear what he was actually offering you. A chance to save your friend at the price of your freedom. You would remain for the rest of your days strapped to this table. Whenever it pleased him, Ren would come and enter your mind by force, take your light and pull it, collect it until it was no more.

"So I'd be your prisoner?"

"Not if you agreed to stay, in that case, you would be my guest"

"Your guest?" you questioned.

That didn't fit into the scenario you had painted in your head "Until when?"

"Until you are of no use to me"

There it was. The truth behind his trade. It was Damon's life for your prolonged death. Still, cruel as he was he didn't have to release Damon. You were powerless to stop him from using you and killing Damon so why did he even offer?

Realisation dawned on you and your stomach rolled. He was using your loyalty towards Damon against you. He knew you would do anything to save him. He must have seen your memories then, to know exactly how to bait you.

_The rhythmic banging on the wall to your left woke you from your slumber. You checked the small chronometer strapped to your wrist. Myri had the girls starting early today._

_You sat up and stretched ignoring the thumping on the right wall that had joined in with the left. Sometimes you thought you should see if the girls could sync up, so each bed hit the wall at the same time. That would be a more soothing noise you figured, each bang perfectly synchronised. It was an impossible feat you knew, they didn't get a say in the speed in which they were fucked. Heading down the stairs you passed Myri who was abusing a service droid. When she noticed you she clapped the poor machine over the head and savvied over to you._

_"I know, I know it's coming, by the morning you'll have it. I promise" you said before she got a chance to say anything._

_She reached a green hand up to your cheek and rubbed it gently_

_"_ _Ah, but you said that yesterday little Illa" you tried not to visibly cringe at the name._

_Illa. A legendary temptress who lured men of all species to their watery deaths. Her beauty and sweet voice hiding the villain within. Illa. That was what she called her girls and for them, it was fitting. Every one of Myri's girls was beautiful beyond belief and each lured men of wealth, rich in power and in credits. The men would be seduced by their bodies and robbed of all that was important to them. Money, power and jewels._

_But you were not one of Myri's whores, despite what she thought you would not be living in her pleasure house forever. Myri allowed you to stay for a cheap price and for the promise of enticing the more wealthy clients of the casino to make a stop by her brothel._

_"_ _I promise, Valsi said my credits would come in tonight."_

_Myri smiled at you and squeezed your cheek roughly in between her thumb and index finger_

_"_ _Awh! I can't stay mad at you my little Illa. You know you can always come to me if you are struggling with credits, you will always have a place at Myri's house"_

 _Y_ _ou wriggled out of her grasp "Thank you Myri, but that won't be necessary. You will have your rent by the end of the cycle"_

_Almost running out the door you headed towards the largest casino in Canto Bight. You didn't like your job, it was degrading, to say the least. You walked around in a tiny black dress that left little to the imagination. You served drinks to gamblers, slave owners, corrupt politicians and other unsavoury types. On more than one occasion a drunk patron would pull on the material of your dress, hoping to expose your bare chest. It was moments like that where you thought on your mother._

_**She had just finished bathing you and had moved onto herself. She removed all her clothing but her underwear and the tight grey wrappings that bound her breasts. You had asked her why she didn't remove them** _

_**"** _ _**You never know who is watching. You must always be on alert my darling. There are those in your life who will try to take things from you because you are pretty. You may be powerless to stop them but you don't have to make it easier for them"** _

_You were glad you had taken your mother's advice and used bindings as soon as your breasts started to show. Whenever your dress was tugged on at work you maintained as much dignity as you could. Your tight bindings had never failed you. While they protected your modesty they didn't protect against everything. The act of being exposed still caused your eyes to sting and your arms to cross over you._

_As much as you hated your job you were grateful for it. The scum bags of the casino were the sole reason you were closer than you ever had been to escaping this planet. The men that touched you, or spoke to you like you were a piece of meat, they often found that the morning after a big win their pockets would be a little lighter than they remembered. It was your own little way of getting justice and dishing out a bit of karma. No one suspected the pretty little waitress to be dipping into the pockets of those who paid her wages._ Yeah right.

_It was a night like any other, you were serving a table that was being dominated by a rich merchant, Kesi. He had been a bit too handsy when you had had to lean over him to retrieve a glass that he had placed in the middle of the playing table. You had taken your time, waited a few hours until he was more booze than he was a man before you made your way over to his table. Feigning dropping a cloth you bent to pick it up and at the same time pocketed 6 black playing chips._

_Apologising for your clumsiness you made your way to the bar and went into the kitchen to deliver the dirty glasses. When you returned to the bar a man was sitting there. Beaming at you. Dark hair parted right down the middle. He looked dorky and not at all like someone who had the money to be in a place like this._

_"You lost?" you questioned_

_"_ _Not at all. I saw what you did back there" You stopped drying the glass in your hand. Surely he didn't see. Act dumb, he will think he's mistaken_

_"I have no idea what you're talking" you lied smoothly_

_"Cut the crap" he snapped, but his eyes still beamed, an echo of the smile he had earlier_

_"I'm not here to bust you if that's what you're worried about. Actually, I'm rather impressed" You eyed him cautiously as he held a hand out towards you._

_"I'm Damon"_

After that day you and Damon were inseparable. He had changed your life. Helped you get off Cantonia and he let you keep your stolen credits, not accepting any of it. He gave you a job, a safe place to sleep, a home. Most importantly he offered you companionship. He was your first friend. Your only friend and for that, you owed him everything. You never thought you would be a person capable of hate but at this moment you loathed Kylo Ren. There was no choice in the matter, you would stay, willingly. You would not let Damon be killed because of your stubbornness.

"You won't harm Damon?"

"If you agree to our deal I will release him myself, unharmed and on the closest planet. But you must understand, you will be my guest and the property of the first order. You will never see him again." The thought of never seeing Damon again was painful, but it was only a portion of the pain you would feel if he died at the hands of Ren when you had the power to ensure his safety. You wanted to ask if you could talk to him, to wish him farewell, but you knew better then ask for anything. Kylo Ren was not a generous man and this offer was bound to be a precarious deal. So you gave your answer before he had a chance to change his mind

"Okay"


	2. Along a Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being WAY longer than I planned and I still didn't get to include everything I wanted to. Guess it'll just have to end up in chapter 3!! 
> 
> Btw I have no real plan or deadlines as to when I'm gonna update. I will TRY to have at least one new chapter a week. If its only one per week I'll make it long af I promise. But If I post like once every couple days then them chaps are gon be short xx 
> 
> Okay hope you like bc Its literally 4 am and I've been working on this for like 4 days x

“This is where you will stay” the trooper that had escorted you from the interrogation chamber said as he shoved you into the cell.

It was small. Smaller than the room you had just been in. There was a bed, minimal floor space and a toilet with a washer. Extremely luxurious.  
“Wow, how generous”

You had barely finished your snide remark when the door to your cell was closed behind you. _Awesome_. Now that you were alone you began to drop your guard slightly. You hadn’t noticed how tightly you were holding your shoulders until you forced yourself to take a deep breath.

As you calmed yourself down your adrenaline levels dropped and you became aware of the throbbing on your ribs and upper chest. You vaguely remembered the searing pain of the taser. Looking down you saw how the white shirt near your ribs had become a dark red as the wound underneath it wept.

Parts of the shirt had been burnt and appeared to have melted into your side. Carefully peeling your shirt away from where the material had stuck to your skin you appraised your battle wounds.

The one on your collar bone was red and irritated but looked as though it would heal well enough on its own. Your ribs, however, told another story. The angry burn was deep and was singed at the edges. Red lines stretched out from the wound like lines of a spider web.

_Maybe if you let it be you would get a fatal infection._

The thought appealed to you more than it should have. You pulled the white slip off the pillow from your bed and ran it under the cold water from the washer. Sitting on your bed you gently dabbed the wet cloth over the burn on your collar bone. Your eyes closed as you breathed through the pain.

Behind your closed eyes, you saw the light again…. And you saw the darkness. You opened your eyes and shook your head. It didn’t matter how curious you got, you would not go exploring along the thread of darkness. You had a feeling you knew what you’d find at the end.

You were exhausted but you couldn’t move from your position on the bed. Now, you were acutely aware of your injuries and movement sent a blinding pain from your side throughout your body. Compromising, you wriggled backwards on your bed moving slowly and carefully until your back was against the wall.

Panting from the effort you leaned your head back and tried to find sleep. All you saw when you closed your eyes was the darkness that the monster had left behind. The fact that he had tied himself to you like that made you angry for reasons you didn’t even understand.

Even with the man gone you still felt like a part of him was with you. Like if you tried hard enough you could use the light to reach out to him. To reach out and find the darkness.

You had felt this connection once before, only then it was welcome and it brought you solace rather than fear.

_You crouched behind the large mossy rock and peeked over the side. This was your favourite spot to hide. You were almost invisible here. The shade of the trees and the rocks surrounding you made you unseeable. The babbling creek just a ways down the path made you silent, and the blooming millaflowers made your scent untraceable._

_He wasn’t alone today. There were 2 others with him sitting in the open field. He really was breathtaking. His golden blonde hair shone in the bright sunlight. He was sitting on the blue rug like he usually did, only today instead of reading to himself, he was animatedly reading to two small children. A young boy and girl. They couldn’t be more than 4 years old and by the way that they were dressed, they were the children of someone very important._

_The kids were so enthralled in the story that when an older looking boy strode out into the field and made a loud noise behind them, they were visibly startled. Petra stood from the rug and greeted the boy who was also dressed in royal robes shaking his hand and smiling. Unlike the children’s white robes, his were a deep red. The older boy shared similar features to the small children. You assumed that they must be related, siblings maybe?_

_From where the boy dressed in red had emerged, a new person appeared. A girl in a dazzling sequinned dress._

_Your heart sank as Petra walked straight over to her and kissed the back of her hand. She blushed and offered her hand to the other boy who repeated the kiss Petra had done._

_You could tell by watching the two boys that they were competing for her attention. Pulling away from your peeping point and sat back against the rock. You knew Petra didn’t see you like that, you were as young as his siblings. Still, a part of you always hoped that someday, when you were older, he might see you differently. It saddened you to know that you would have to watch him fall in love with someone. Your heart hurt when you imagined it. As the eldest son, the wedding would be extravagant and you would surely have to help with the preparations. Once he was married would he want you to be in his of his service? Would Dan allow that? Would his new wife? Petra was always so kind to you, maybe he would bring you with when he left next summer._

_A shrill scream from the field behind you had you whipping around to see the cause of the noise. The girl was pointing and screaming at the ground as a Pelikki wondered over towards her. You rolled your eyes at the scene. It was a harmless creature, probably just curious of her sparkly dress._   
_The boy dressed in red robes stepped forward, rolled his sleeves up and went to kick the animal. You were glad that the two young children were present because their screams of horror drowned out the sound of yours. The boy kicked again and again and stamped on the creature until you were sure it was dead. You looked to Petra who was standing with a horrified look on his face, but he did nothing. Watching the scene you willed someone to stop the boy, to save the poor Pelikki._

_Suddenly, it was the evil boy who was screaming as he kicked his leg out. You could see that he was trying to shake something off his ankle. A small aak dog had taken hold of the boy and bitten down. You couldn’t help but admire the small animal, standing up for another against a thing so much bigger than itself._

_With a swift kick, the boy freed his leg of the dog and the group from the field helped him hobble back towards the main house. When you were sure the coast was clear you wandered out into the meadow. The Pelikki was dead. Its body mangled almost beyond recognition. Kneeling down beside it you wept. From across the clearing the aak dog came and sat opposite you, his eyes big and brown looking deeply into yours._

_“Help me bury him?” you asked_

_The dog seemed to understand you as he nodded his head slightly. Picking up the damaged creature you wondered into the forest and down to the creek. The aak dog dug a hole and you gently placed the pelikki in it. After covering the animal with dirt and laying a small bunch of Millaflowers atop the grave you sat back and pet the dog who hadn’t left your side the entire time._  
 _“What a horrible boy”_  
 _The dog whined and you turned to look at him_  
 _“Thank you for what you did back there. That was very brave”_  
 _Gazing into the dog's eyes you felt something spark within your chest. A warmth._  
 _“So what should I call you?” you asked. It wasn’t as if the dog could answer you. However, in the back of your mind, like a whisper on a thread, you heard the name,_ Gilli.

You weren’t entirely sure if you had slipped into unconsciousness but you were ripped from your rest as the cell door hissed open loudly. Your eyes trailed the trooper that walked in and set a small device on the middle of your floor.

“What is that?”

“Commander Ren has a message for you”  
The trooper bent down and pressed a button on the device. Immediately a blue screen popped up and you watched as the scene in front of you played out.

Damon was being escorted by two Stormtroopers into an empty hall. A figure dressed in black stepped into frame from the right. He nodded and the troopers let go of Damon at once. They walked out of view and left the pair alone. Damon stood in front of Kylo, his shoulders square. He looked fearless, but you knew it was just a ruse. You could only imagine the fear and anger he must be feeling. He was face to face with the man who had taken everything from him. Ren motioned towards the open door of the escape pod.

Damon looked at the pod and then back to the knight.

“Get in”

“I won’t leave without her. Where is she?”

“She is no longer your concern”

“Then I’m staying here” Damon’s stubbornness was going to get him killed. You willed him to just get in the pod and leave.

Ren didn’t give Damon the time to make a stand against him. He waved his hand and the boy was lifted from his feet and thrown into the pod. The door shut behind him quickly and you watched as the airlock sealed and the pod was thrust into space. Just like that, your only friend in the world was gone. You would never see him again.

Kylo turned so he was facing you through the hologram. The image disappeared. You remained staring at the space the knight had just occupied. He orchestrated this so that you would watch the whole thing transpire. He wanted you to know _exactly_ how true to his word he had been. And you hated him for it.

The feeling that swept through you was bittersweet. On one hand, you were so unbelievably happy that Kylo had lived up to his promise and that Damon was able to go free. But that was quickly stamped out as your eyes began to sting and tears rolled hotly down your cheeks. The trooper collected the holopad and left your cell without another word.

With no audience around your body shook as you sobbed as quietly as you could. This was his plan all along. Kylo Ren didn’t do this out of the kindness of his heart, no he had no kindness. You weren’t even sure if he had a heart. This was a calculated and manipulative move in a game you didn’t know you were playing. And now, he was winning.

You felt as though you owed Ren, for sparing your friends life. You laughed humourlessly through the tears. He had you exactly where he wanted you. You had been played, made a fool of. Your mind flashed back to when he first brought this offer to you. He had said if you agreed to stay then you would be his guest. He knew even then what the outcome of agreeing to stay would mean for you.

You really weren’t his prisoner. No, he didn’t even have to lock your cell door because he knew that you would be your own warden. You would stay with him out of some sick and misplaced sense of gratitude. If you hadn’t agreed to stay and he had killed Damon you would have had nothing to lose and so you would have fought Ren.

You would have attempted to harm yourself or to escape. In that scenario, you would have been restrained, locked in, caged like an animal in order for Kylo to be able to take what he wanted from you with ease. But that’s not how it had played out. You had walked right into his trap. It made your stomach lurch at the very notion that you would be grateful to Kylo Ren. You refused to let that be the case.

You wouldn’t let yourself feel gratitude for him. Because that wasn’t what you were really feeling. Was it? That wasn’t why you wouldn’t try to escape. You would remain and be a _good girl_ because you were afraid. You feared what Ren would do to Damon if you tried anything. Kylo believed that he did you a favour. A favour with ulterior motives but a favour nonetheless, and you had a feeling that favours weren’t something the dark knight regularly handed out.

You feared his retaliation if you threw his gift back in his face by going against your word. After all, he had been true to his. He had shown you over the hologram just how true he had been. You couldn’t go back on your word. Not now. It didn’t matter what he did to you in anger if you did not stay true to your promise. You would take it because you deserve it. It was in its own sick way, a type of betrayal.

It was what he could do to Damon that had made you your own keeper of keys. You cried uncontrollably now. You wanted to blame someone, to direct your anger towards them, anything to lessen the emotional onslaught that was taking over your body.

But you had no one to blame but yourself. You didn’t have to agree to stay. Damon would have been killed but at least you wouldn’t have submitted. You wouldn’t have stepped aside and let Ren take what he wanted. You wouldn’t have stayed willingly in your cell. You would have made this as difficult as you could for him. You were your own worst enemy. Once again the words your mother had spoken to you drifted to the front of your mind.

_“You may be powerless to stop it but you don’t have to make it easier for them”_

You certainly were powerless to stop Kylo Ren from taking what he wanted. You could have at least put up a fight. But you didn’t. You had all but handed your freewill to him in a pretty wrapped box.

You didn’t think of anything else for a long time. You just sat up against the wall and felt sorry for yourself. You cried until the tears wouldn’t fall anymore. You must have looked a mess because when the door to your cell opened and the black robbed man took your appearance in, he made a noise.

“Hmm” it sounded odd coming from the mask. More a machine like noise than a sound from a person.

Idly you wondered if he truly was a person under the mask. It didn’t matter. You loathed him either way.

You hadn’t moved your head to look at him. You were still staring holes in the wall in front of you. Ren stepped forward, directly into your gaze. He was waiting expectantly. One lone tear fell down your cheek as you uttered the words you knew he wanted to hear

“Thank you….For…for Damon”

It took everything you had to make the words sound appreciative. Kylo Ren was a sick manipulative bastard. He wanted to hear you thank him, not for Damon, but for letting you be his _guest_ and not his prisoner. As if you had any choice in the matter.

He was gloating at this point, rubbing in the fact that you were now at his complete mercy and that _you_ were the one that chose this fate. That you had been the one to surrender and that you had done so willingly.

He wanted to further ingrain that sense of gratitude until you couldn’t deny it. To fan the flames so to speak, until your gratitude morphed into a blind loyalty like it had done so with Damon.

Getting you to thank him for your imprisonment was only the beginning of his manipulation. You knew it would only get worse the more time he spent in your head, pulling the light from your chest into his.

Ren had won this round but he hadn’t won the game yet. You were determined to at least make it a challenge for him if you were destined to lose. You weren’t about to throw your cards in and give up.

“You will remain in here indefinitely.” He said “I will come to visit you each day and enter your mind. If you co-operate I will leave you unchained. If you attempt to escape or to keep me out you will be restrained and punished.”

His voice got lower “I will take what I want from you, it is up to you whether it hurts or not. Do you understand smuggler?”

You nodded. What else could you do?

You had so many questions but you doubted any of them would be answered. Still, you couldn’t help it. A question left your lips before you had a chance to think better of it.

“What do you need from me? I know you said I had power but… I… I just…. I just don’t understand.” You admitted  
“All you have taken so far is… me. My memories and… and my light”

A noise from the mask startled you. It was hard to tell through the voice coder but it sounded like a huff of air. Like a laugh that he had tried to disguise.

“The finer details are of no concern to you. All you need to understand is that fighting me is pointless. Be good and you won’t even know when I’m… taking your light” his tone changed at the end of the sentence. He was mocking you again.

He took a step forward and reached out to your cheek. His gloved hand stroked it very gently. It was such a tender act. The fact that it was this masked creature touching you so intimately terrified you.

What scared you was how unpredictable it was. Monsters were supposed to be cruel, they were supposed to hunt you down and make you suffer. They weren’t supposed to caress you and cause butterflies in your stomach.

You had made an assumption that had left you vulnerable. You assumed that because he looked like a monster and did monstrous things that that was all he was capable of doing. But his hand on your cheek suggested otherwise. It meant that you couldn’t predict his actions. When he reached out towards you he could be going to stroke you like he was now, or, he could clench his fist and strike you…. and you would have no idea which he would choose.

His hand trailed down from your cheek and rested on your shoulder. He was careful not to touch the burn on your collar bone. You were only wearing your breast wrappings and pants. You should have felt exposed but you didn’t. It wasn’t like you had much choice. The shirt you had been wearing was burnt and covered in your blood.

His head dropped lower, you couldn’t tell where he was looking. You hoped it was at the burn to your rips and not your almost bare chest.

“I’ll send a droid in to tend to that,” he said and then he left. You were alone in your cell once again.

The medical droid arrived shortly after Ren left. It injected you with what you assumed to be a sedative because your eyelids shut of their own accord and you fell into unconsciousness.

You rolled over in your sleep before bolting upright, your hands going to your side. You were still shirtless, except now you had a bandage around your ribs as well as the bindings to your breasts. You sighed and got out of bed, careful not to move your torso.

You noticed that a tray of food had been brought to you and sitting next to it was a small pile of black linen.

You didn’t even taste the food as you shovelled it in. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d eaten and you were starving. After about 6 mouthfuls your stomach cramped in protest. It wasn't used to being full.

After eating as much as you could without being sick you turned your attention to the linen.

Unfolding them you realised that they were clothes. You were grateful for whoever made the call to bring you clean clothes. Yours, or what was left of them were filthy with your sweat and blood.

You used the scraps of your pants to wash your body as best as you could with the small sink from the washer. The new clothing brought to you was a plain black jumpsuit. It was clearly just a generic prisoner outfit but you knew that the thick material would keep you warm. The thin rough grey blanket on your bed was hardly enough against the chill of the cold metal cell.

You had no idea what time it was or what day it was. There was no window and the lights stayed on in the cell. That would get really annoying after a while. You though it might be worth saving a piece of your destroyed pants to use as an eye mask.

You lay down in the middle of the floor gazing up at the ceiling. You tried imagining that you were laying on the grass in the small field from your childhood. At night the stars would shine so brightly. You remembered how you used to follow the space ships that passed by with your eyes.  
You waited to see if they would suddenly shoot off into hyperspace.

Ren entered the room while you were staring up at the roof. You had heard him come in but ignored his presence desperately hoping to hold onto the memory you were seeing play out on your celling. But it was pointless. He had interrupted you and the image was lost. Try as you might you couldn’t focus enough to bring it back.

“Hello,” you said finally acknowledging him. You still didn’t turn your head to look at him but you hear footsteps as he came closer.

“How are you feeling?”

His question caught you off guard and you whipped your head around to face him, your eyes questioning. Had you heard him correctly?

“Uhm, yes, I’m fine”

“Good. I am going to enter your mind today.”

Ah, now it made sense. He was only asking because he wanted to use you today. Suppose it was nice of him to bother asking if you were up to it, though you doubted it would have changed his response if you had answered that you weren’t well.

He motioned his hand and you felt your body moving without your consent into a cross-legged sitting position. Ren sat down in front of you. You were seated so close to him you could see yourself reflected in the visor of his mask. It didn’t take you long to feel the tug in your chest from Ren utilising the thread that linked the two of you.

Closing your eyes you saw where you were bonded with the knight. Your yellow light flowed willingly towards his darkness that seemed to swallow everything it touched. But wasn’t the case. It didn't swallow it, didn't destroy it, you had proof as you could feel the way your light moved within him. It was still very much there, it was just inside someone else. Inside the man in front of you.

It felt oddly intimate in a very unusual way. You were sitting close together but you weren’t touching. No part of you was in physical contact with him but it didn’t _feel_ that way.

You felt yourself, or rather the light that had come from you, inside Ren. It was so strange, last time you had been so focused on how wrong and disgusting it was that you failed to notice how peaceful it felt.

Anyone would think that you would feel empty inside, or uncomfortable as your light was taken and replaced by something cold and dark that didn’t belong to you. But it didn’t feel like that at all. It was new and foreign but it didn’t feel _bad_. In fact, it felt satisfying? You couldn’t pinpoint the right word was but whatever it was it left you feeling content. You could only assume that he felt it too.

The passing of time was lost on you while you sat across from Kylo Ren, eyes closed, taking in every pulse of the thread between you, every time your light was reeled into him and returned to you and then back again.

Eventually, Ren stood and left without saying a word.

Over the next week, Kylo came to your cell, sat across from you and experimented with the bond between you. You were starting to get really agitated after being locked up for so long with no communication with anyone. Ren hardly spoke to you when he visited.

You missed the sound of undistorted voices. You missed the touch of another person. The simple comfort of being held or holding someone else. You missed people in general. Yes, Kylo came to see you but he was always hidden under his mask and aside from the droids that brought you food twice a day and a medical droid changed the bandage on your ribs, Ren was the only contact you had with anyone other than yourself.

The bacta treatment you’d been given had been doing its job well and the ugly open wound closed and began to form a pink scar by the end of the week. It was applied locally, directly onto your wound so it did nothing to heal the red scratches on your arms.

It wasn’t something you were consciously aware of doing. It started out as a gentle rubbing of your hands along your clothed arms. A way of self-soothing that had since escalated into unintended self-harm the longer you were denied human contact.

As soon as you noticed your rubbing was causing a painful amount of friction you made yourself stop and tried to throw yourself into a memory, sometimes even speaking parts aloud just to stop the silent ringing in your ears. It was during one of these distraction episodes that Kylo Ren entered your cell.

He usually came at the same time every day. You had no way to accurately track time but his presence felt early today. You stopped talking to yourself as soon as you had heard the door opening, you had already begun to pull yourself into the meditative position he had you take every time he visited so it surprised you when he spoke.  
“No, we will be doing something different today” he steps aside and two Stormtroopers enter.

They place your wrists and ankles in cuffs in record time and exit even quicker leaving you tied up in your cell, alone with Kylo Ren. Why had Ren ordered you to be restrained? He told you that you wouldn’t be restrained if you co-operated and you felt as though you had been on your best behaviour. You had been downright docile, even fighting to reframe from talking to him when he visited even though all you wanted in the world was to sit down and have a conversation with someone. You chanced a question.

“Why am I being cuffed? I have listened to you, I haven’t fought you at all” You hated how small and vulnerable your voice sounded, like a child who had had their favourite toy taken from them for no reason.

“I know. I am leaving and you’re to come with me”

“Leaving? Where are you taking me?!” your voice was now full of panic.

Was he taking you to your death now? Had he taken all he wanted from you? Where you no longer useful? You certainly felt drained, well and truly. You began this not feeling as if you had anything of value to offer Ren and you felt that even more so now. You were weak, much weaker than usual and felt that the light within had lost some of its brightness.

“You are safe” was all the masked man said to reassure you.

He reached out and took a hold of your elbow and led you out of the cell. Even though his grip was tight and his fingers dug into your flesh your mind was basking in the feeling of another person touching you. All your nerves were acutely aware of his hand now and it made it very hard to concentrate on keeping up with his walking pace. Ren lead you down a series of hallways and out into an air hanger.

The sight before you caused you to knees to lock in place. Kylo tugged you forward roughly. Tripping over your feet as you tried to keep up with him your eyes swept the room.

You were making your way towards a ship, but it wasn't the sleek black machine that caused your shock. It was the mass of Stormtroopers that created a guard of honour from the entrance of the hanger all the way to the open door of the aircraft. They stood still and straight.

You couldn’t help but stare and marvel at the sight. Ren paid them no attention, you supposed he was used to this, it must have been routine for him. For you, it was entirely new and very overwhelming. You knew this must only be a portion of the First-Order and their personnel but the sea of white armoured soldiers seemed astronomical.

Ren was a very powerful man, not just within himself and his strange force powers but also within the number of resources at his disposal.

Boarding the aircraft you were surprised to see that the door closed and sealed shut. No troopers entered with you.

The interior was very small, one seat for a pilot and a tiny cargo space between the cockpit and the now locked door. Ren let go of you and sat in the pilot’s seat. You stood awkwardly behind the chair.

“Sit down” he ordered.

You wasted no time in complying. You had never been inside a ship like this. It was new, and the cockpit was full of shiny metallic dials and switches. Ren powered up the ship and it hummed with life. You actually shuttered at the noise it made.

Since meeting Damon you had spent most of your time inside his bulky xs light freighter. Damon had taught you how to service the tank of a spacecraft. You knew more than your fair share about the engineering and mechanics behind most ships as a result.

You would kill to see the engine of this ship. Damon’s ship was ancient in comparison to this brilliant piece of machinery.

Kylo Ren may have been a despicable person but he had impeccable taste in aircraft.

The knight placed his hands on the yoke and pulled it up ever so slightly. The ship rose with such grace and ease. You couldn’t wait to be out of the hanger, this thing must have had some speed to it.

You must have been staring with your mouth wide open.

“Impressed?” he asked

“It's…” you were at a loss for words.

The knight laughed. Or at least you thought it was a laugh. It sounded like a static choke through the voice coder.

“It’s a prototype,” he said.

Then almost as if he did it to show off, he flicked a switch above him then pushed the yoke forward. The ship, still inside the hanger, shot forward at such a speed that you were swept off your feet and thrown into the back wall.

The action caused a small pain in your ribs but it was manageable, especially since the knight was still showing off racing out towards the empty abyss of space at an incredible speed.

Crawling into your knees, trying to keep your centre of gravity low, you shuffled closer to the pilot so you could peek out the viewport.

You pulled yourself up to the chair and held onto the side of it. You didn’t even notice when Ren glanced down at you, you were so awestruck.

There was a small moon to your right that had a ring around it, behind it was a larger planet that was a blinding white. The light from the sun reflecting off it made the planet almost glow in the darkness.

You felt a hand on your back as Ren grabbed a bunch of your jumpsuit. You squeaked with surprise as he pulled you from the floor. Your wrists and ankles were still restrained and they clinked against the metal control panel as he lowered you in the pilot chair with him.

He had opened his legs slightly so you weren’t sitting directly on them but rather between them, your bum resting on the edge of the chair.  
You sat very still and tensely, not wanting to move an inch. What the kriff?

“Hold on” is all he said.

You barely had time to register his command before he dipped the machine towards the small moon. You stared wide-eyed as he weaved and dodged around the asteroids that made up the thin ring around the moon.

Your hands were white as you held onto the armrests of the chair. He was zipping around furiously. The first time he spun the craft and rolled it upside down you felt yourself falling out of the temporary safety of his lap.

“Ah Ren” You warned.

You were sitting so close to him that this time when he laughed you heard the sound of it from under the mask more than you did this distortion. It sounded…. Light? Like he was enjoying himself.  
Well, you hoped he was because you certainly weren’t. Your stomach began to clench and your head pounded as he continued to roll the machine, loop it around and fly expertly around each and every asteroid that was in your way. You had to give it to him, he was a very good pilot.

“I’m going to be sick”

Ren stopped his theatrics immediately.

“If you vomit in my ship I will throw you out”

You couldn’t blame him for the threat. If this were your ship and the sanctity of its interior was at risk you probably would have said something similar.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to settle your stomach. Thankfully Kylo was flying straight and steady now.

You kept your eyes closed and mind on the wonder of this ‘prototype’ ship until you once again felt Ren’s hand on your back as he pushed you forward until you slid off the chair and onto the ground in front of him. Using his black boot he pushed you away and to the side until you were sitting where you had been previously.

Gazing out the viewport you saw why. You had almost arrived on what you assumed was the blazing white planet you had seen before. His flying and his ship were so impressive, you hadn’t even felt the descent.

The planet was covered in snow. A massive building cut through the natural landscape and seemed to stretch out as far as you could see.  
This must have been the First-Order’s main base.

Again you felt uneasy at the sheer amount of power at the tips of Ren’s fingers. You felt cold just looking at the scene before you. Everything was white or grey. It was such a bland view yet it put your nerves on edge.

After you landed and the door opened you were hardly surprised to see the same arrangement of troopers in the hanger. This time however there were easily twice as many if not triple the amount that had seen Ren off the Star Destroyer. It was extremely intimidating.

Ren shoved past you, not grabbing you this time and waltzed down the path that had been cleared for him. Two Stormtroopers walked up the ramp towards you then and dragged you forward following behind Ren at a significant distance.

You assumed you were being taken to another interrogation room, or maybe another cell so when you were taken into a large empty room you were confused. One of the troopers removed your cuffs and stood back next to the other one who was holding a tube of some kind. You had a bad feeling about this.

“Remove your clothes prisoner”

You didn’t move, alarm bells screaming in your head.

Obviously, you had taken too long to comply as the trooper that had removed you restraints came over to you again and grabbed hold of the zipper of your clothing.

“Get off me!” You yelled as you pushed the man away.

He paid your efforts no attention and continued to try to pull your zipper down. You wriggled and thrashed around in his grasp. Kicking a leg out you heard the man groan and he released you. Before you had a chance to retreat he pushed his fist out and it struck you over your right eye. Your eyes began to water immediately.  
Quick as you could you stepped away from him and shuffled backwards until your back was flush against the wall behind you. Facing the men in white armour your eyes darted between the two of them looking for any type of movement to try to determine who would strike next.

Your clothes had been ripped in your struggle and they hung off one shoulder loosely. You used your hands to cover yourself. Of course, you still had your bindings on but it brought back all your memories from Cantonica.

Only then you at least had the safety of your colleagues and even other more respectable patrons to stop the behaviour before it got out of hand. Here, you had no one. You were out-numbered and much weaker than you normally would be. But you could do this, you could fight them. You would try at least.  
First, you would try to remove their helmets then you would go for the soft and vulnerable parts of their face. Or, you would aim for the groin. You had just found out that the armour didn’t cover the underside of them so that they could walk with ease. You probably wouldn’t win but you could definitely fight.

The trooper holding the tube moved, but he made no effort to come closer to you. He went over to the door. As soon as it opened your determination melted away. 4 more troopers entered the room and moved straight to you.

You were grabbed violently, pushed down and held on the floor. Armoured knees digging painfully into legs and arms as you were anchored in place. One limb at a time your clothing was peeled from you. You continually bucked your hips trying to get some type of leverage to throw them off of you. All that achieved was another soldier to straddle your hips to keep you down.

Your cries for help went unanswered. After they had manoeuvred the jumpsuit from your body the man straddling your hips pulled out a knife and went to work at your tight breast wrappings. Each time you heard the fabric rip your stomach did a backflip in terror. You closed your eyes. Watching the masked trooper leaning over you, eagerly tearing through your last defence, was too much.

The first of your tears fell down your cheek as you felt the final piece of wrapping give way to the knife and the cool air of the room hit your exposed chest. The man on top of you didn’t move. You were glad you weren’t looking. You didn’t want to watch as the men around you stared at your naked body still being painfully restrained.

Suddenly the weight from your hips was gone. Followed by the knee on your upper arm and the foot on your other. The hands on your legs were the last to go. Opening your eyes you quickly pulled yourself into a sitting fetal position.

The group of troopers had gathered behind the one holding the tube. Their gazes never moved from you.

“Stand prisoner,” one of them said.

You couldn’t be sure which one it was as you couldn’t see their mouths under the masks. You didn’t move from your position. Instead, you hugged your chest tighter, trying to conceal your chest with your arms. You tried crossing your legs in a way that would hide your crotch.

“Stand or we will make you stand” the voice commanded.

Reluctantly you pushed yourself onto your feet. You kept an arm over your breasts and crotch. You felt utterly exposed and totally vulnerable. You blinked through the tears, not wanting to let your vision be obstructed for even a second. You weren’t going to make this easy for them, you weren’t going to make this easy. You repeated your mother’s words like a mantra in your head.

A flash of movement caught your attention. You were suddenly freezing and wet. The tube the trooper had been holding was a hose. The men watched as you were sprayed with the cold water. The pressure was too much and you were forced to move your hands from your body and out to the flow of water. The water was painful as it hit your hands so instinctively you turned away so your back was getting the full force of it.

The hose was shut off after about a minute and you were left exposed again. You stood shivering and dripping. Your hair stuck to your face and your back. Your teeth chattered loudly.

When you two troopers came and grabbed your arms pinning them behind your back you allowed yourself to verbally sob.

The warmth of your tears was a relief to your icy cheeks. You didn’t try to stop them, the tears as they fell or the troopers as one used a towel to dry your body.

He definitely lingered over your breasts longer than was needed and he did the same as he dressed you in a new jumpsuit.

You hated yourself at this moment and you thought back to Damon. He had never been more than a friend to you, in fact, he was more like a brother than a friend. While you knew that nothing more than friendship would come from your relationship with Damon you suspected that he always hoped the opposite.

You had noticed the way he looked at you and the way he held you sometimes. How he would always jump at the chance to touch you. How the dozens of girls he brought home always spoke of you with distaste and jealously. Or even that one time when he thought you were asleep and you had overheard him call your name as he pleasured himself.  
He had once gotten up the nerve to vaguely breach the subject.

_“Oh uh hey”_

_The latest of Damon’s sexual conquests said as she emerged from his room onboard the xs light freighter he loved so dearly. She was pretty you thought. Thick dark curls that fell around her face. She was dressed in his shirt and you supposed nothing else. Upon seeing you sitting in the communal lounge space she wrapped her arms around her stomach self-consciously._

_“Hey,” you said, trying to smooth over the awkwardness_

_“I’m y/n” she looked at you confused_

_“Klaa” you said then and her eyes opened in recognition._

_“Klaa, right of course you are” she walked into the room and took a seat next to you_

_“Damon speaks very highly of you” she did very well to hide the annoyance in her voice, some didn’t even try to disguise their dislike for you._

_Damon was notorious. Almost every planet you docked on and spent more than a few days in he would find some oblivious young girl. Each one would fall for him and each one would have their hearts broken when he left. They never liked you, they saw you as a threat. You supposed you understood their possessiveness._

_Damon had a knack for making you feel safe, special even. And his brilliant blue eyes were destined to break hearts. This poor thing was just the next one. You were scheduled to depart later today’s cycle and she probably had no idea._

_Damon’s yawn announced his presence as he stepped out to see you and his little guest idly chatting._

_“I see you two have met”_

_“Yes,” you both said._

_The girl jumped up and walked over to Damon. She tried to plant a kiss on his lips but he turned his head so she got his cheek. You looked away. You knew he was uncomfortable with public displays of affection._   
_“What would you like to do today?” she asked him hopefully._

_This was your cue to leave, things could only get ugly from here. Making some excuse about needing to relieve yourself you left the two alone for the tears that were bound to come. You weren’t sure how this one would react to the news._

_Some cried, some begged, some yelled and kicked and screamed. One even followed you guys over two planetary systems determined to not give up. annoying as that one was, you had admired her tenacity._

_the pretty girl's voice floated from the lounge space to your room._

_“Fuck you D! Who do you think you are!?” ah this one was a fighter, hopefully, she got a few good insults in, Damon's ego could do with being taken down a few pegs._

_“Burn on Mustafa you kriffing asshole!” Oh, that didn’t last nearly as long as you had hoped because shortly after that final attack the sound of the ships door opening and closing signified the girl's exit._

_After a few moments and you were sure she had left you made your way to the cockpit where Damon was starting the pre-flight checks._

_“You know, one of these days karma is gonna bite you in the ass for what you do to these girls”_

_He laughed “Please, I’d like the challenge it’s getting pretty easy”_

_You rolled your eyes. Smug bastard._

_“Why do you always leave them?” you wondered aloud “If you kept them around long enough you might end up liking them”_

_“That’s the whole point. I don’t wanna like them”_

_“Why not?” you challenged “You’re pretty old, maybe it’s time you thought about settling down”_

_“HA!” he boomed “old! I’ve been called many things by women and old has never been one”_

_You laughed with him_

_“Besides, I’m not really the uh ‘settling down’ type”_

_“Yeah,” you said understandingly “I know.”_

_You couldn’t picture Damon ever staying in one place long enough to settle down. He was one of those people that was always moving around. He enjoyed it and you hoped he would find someone that liked it too._

_It’s not that you didn’t enjoy your lifestyle with him, going planet to planet, meeting new people, seeing and exploring new places. You loved your life with Damon, especially after being forced to stay locked up for so much of your life, but you always felt that it wasn’t permanent._

_It wasn’t something you pictured doing for the rest of your life. One day you would like to meet someone and live with them, make a home with them._

_You wanted the same for Damon, you knew how lonely he was before he met you. The story behind his family broke your heart the first time he’d told it to you._

_He’d grown up in a poor village on Atollon. His parents worked in the fields there selling seeds at the local market. There were little resources out there and no education. He was the middle child with 3 older siblings and 3 younger. He lived in a small 2 bedroom hut with them, his parents and his grandparents._

_He had worked with the family in the fields but always felt like he was destined to do more and so he saved all his earnings for 10 years until he had enough money to buy a ship off the merchants that lived over the valley._

_His beloved light freighter._

_When he told you how long and hard he had worked for it you understood his attachment to the ancient hunk of junk. It took a lot of strength for him to leave his family behind, he had said that his mother begged him not to leave, afraid he would never return to her. Damon vowed that he would leave, make his fortune and then return to collect his family and give them a better life._

_And so, for the next 2 years, he worked as a smuggler picking up jobs where he could. After he was paid he would put a small portion of it away for his family._

_3 times he returned home to visit._

_The last time he saw his family his mother was ill. She held his hand as she lay in her bed and once again she begged her son not to leave. She had said that she wanted her family to be together, that it was broken when he was gone. That a piece of her left when he did. That she didn’t want to feel incomplete anymore._

_Still, Damon promised her that he would return like he had and next time he would bring double the credits. So he left._

_6 months he was gone._

_The last time he returned to the village of his childhood he was confronted with the black burnt bones of the houses that scattered the once lush green hill._

_Decaying bodies were thrown about, some in the street, some halfway out their doors and windows._

_He went to his home, foolishly hoping it was standing. That upon seeing her son coming up the drive his mother would run out to him arms open and welcoming._

_What he got was very different._

_8 bodies, too burnt to identify lay face down in a line in front of the house. They had been shot execution-style. He didn’t want to try to look at the clothing to see which of his family it was._

_He went inside._

_The house was in much better condition than some of the other ones he had passed. Half of it remained intact and unburnt. He walked to his mother’s room, the last place he had seen her._

_Her decayed body was laying in her bed. If it weren’t for the fact that half the house had collapsed the smell would have been eye-watering._

_His mother's bedsheets pulled up under her arms. In her hands, she was clutching a photograph of a 7-year-old Damon._

_It was a few weeks later that he learnt it was the First-Order that has issued the attack on the village. Ever since that day Damon had been racked with guilt. Though he would never admit it he was also overwhelmingly lonely. You wanted him to have someone to love and to have them love him back._

_“I could settle down I suppose” his voice interrupted your train of thought_

_“You could?”_

_“Yeah, if I met the right person”_

_“How do you know they’re the right person if you don’t let them stick around long enough to learn their names?”_

_He laughed “You got me there Klaa”_

_You supposed that the reason he went through so many girls was that he was lonely. And the reason he never kept them around is that he didn't want to risk getting his heartbroken. Didn't want to risk loving them only to have them leave him._

_You didn’t know much about sex but maybe it was enough to keep him tied over for a while. Maybe that was why he didn’t go looking for a long term partner. The sex made him feel close to someone and having them be strangers meant he wasn't at risk of being hurt. You wondered how that worked, what it was like._

_“What is it like?” you asked suddenly._   
_You didn’t mean to voice the question._

_“What is what like?”_

_“Nothing” you looked away and fiddled with your hands hoping he wouldn’t notice the blush in your cheeks_

_“No, don’t lie to me Klaa. What is what like?”_   
_You knew Damon. He was stubborn. He wouldn’t leave you alone unless you gave him what he wanted._

_“What is sex like?” you still didn’t look at him, your cheeks were burning now._

_He didn’t say anything for a long while and you continued to not meet his eyes so when he reached his hand out to gently grab your chin and turn your head to face him you cast your gaze to the floor._

_He wouldn’t give up though. Always so stubborn. He lifted your chin now so you had to look him in the eyes. His expression was soft and there was an emotion behind his eyes that you couldn’t pick._

_“Do you want me to show you Klaa?” His voice was a whisper, so quiet and so vulnerable._

_“oh,” you said lamely “no Damon that’s okay I-“_

_“Please Klaa” He sounded desperate “Please let me show you”_

It had broken his heart when you refused him. He tried to hide it but you could tell. It wasn’t because you didn’t like Damon that you said no. You loved Damon deeply and truly. It was just the wrong type of love. You had had so much taken from you when you were young. You had nothing that was truly yours.

Your body was the only thing that no one could take away from you. Sure they could use your body if they wanted, but they could never ever take what you weren’t willing to give. You were just lucky that you had been able to preserve your virginity, you knew many girls in your position weren’t so lucky.

It made you all the more determined to protect the gift you would give the first man you were with. You would give yourself to him. He could be with you as he saw fit and you would be a willing and eager participant the whole time.

You just didn’t love Damon the right way and you didn’t feel he loved you the right way either.

How you wished you hadn’t held onto those silly morals now. No one had seen you this bare in your life. Now 6 masked men were watching you and touching you without your consent.

The first man to ever touch your breasts would forever be faceless and nameless. The experience would forever be remembered as cold and frightening.

The jumpsuit you were dressed in was different from your older one. This one was skin tight and it clung to the curves of your body. The troopers holding your arms released you and reattached the cuffs to your ankles and wrists.

Although you were clothed you still felt very naked as you were pulled by your elbows to your new cell. The troopers were less than gentle when they pushed you inside and loudly slammed the door shut.

Your cell looked much like the one you had been in previously only this one was a little bit bigger.

Your hair was still wet and you shivered in the thin clothes. It was colder here. You shuffled over to the bed and wrapped the thin grey blanket around yourself. Your muscles ached and you knew you would have new bruises from where you were held down.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep despite how cold you were. You slept lightly and dreamt vividly. At one point you woke to a cold sensation in your chest. You were too tired to determine if it was just the chill of the room or if Ren was experimenting with the thread again.

You felt like it was the latter because like you often did when he was toying around with your connection to him, you felt his presence. Like he was on the other end of a hologram. Not with you physically but enough mentally so that if you called to him he could answer.

You never called out. Neither did he.

You were awoken from another dream, a dream about your childhood by a flutter in your chest. Ren was definitely experimenting now. You could feel the thread going taunt, it was almost painful how tight it was. You sat up, ignoring your screaming muscles and tried to force him out of your head.

 _Get out!_ You thought.

Suddenly the thread went slack and you felt your chest warm up as your light was returned to you. _Good._

Getting out of bed you went to the toilet in the corner of your cell. You had to peel the suit off in order to pee. You had been dressed in it with nothing else underneath and you felt so naked. You held your breasts in your hands, covering them as you relieved yourself.

Pulling your suit back on you saw the purple marks on your arms and thighs. These Stormtroopers were rough assholes. Washing your hands you went to splash water on your face and was greeted by a throbbing pain over your eye.

You had forgotten that that first trooper had punched you. Gently you ran your fingers over your face to inspect the damage. Your face was swollen and tender, but your vision was unobstructed which was a good sign.  
You went back to bed daydreaming about all the things you would do to those 6 Stormtroopers if you were ever so lucky as to escape.


	3. Isolation and Memories

Ren came to your new cell a few cycles after your traumatic hose down. When he walked in he was carrying two extra blankets which he left for you. You weren't sure why he did it but you were grateful, at night the cell became almost unbearably cold. Your days continued as they had on the Star Destroyer. Every day Ren would come and the pair of you would meditate together and then he would leave. No talking, no touching.

In between his visits you would pass the time by escaping into your memories. You had tried to exercise, running on the spot and push-ups. But your bruised muscles didn't allow for much movement. You were also very weak. Much weaker than you had ever been in your life. The First-Order were clever in the ways that they fed you. A droid brought your meals twice a day and you were only given enough to keep you sustained. The food wasn't nutrient-rich or very exciting, it was usually some salty broth with a small slice of rock hard bread.  
You were also very tired. Maybe it was the lack of movement or fresh air or stimulation. You felt like you could sleep for hours, wake up and still be exhausted. Overall you weren't thriving with your new living arrangements. You refused to complain about it to Ren when he came. He wouldn't have cared and it may have actually given him satisfaction to know you were uncomfortable. So you stubbornly and probably foolishly kept your mouth shut. You were the model prisoner. No one heard a peep out of you.

Today Ren had arrived at his usual time but he was holding something black in his hands. He held it out to you. It was a thick black cloak. You looked at his masked face questioningly.

"Put it on" is all he said

"Why?" you asked while slipping the material over your head.

It was heavy and pooled at your feet.

"I need to patrol the base. You're coming with me"

Patrol the base? Did that mean you were being taken on a… a walk? You looked at him as he blocked the doorway. He was a foreboding figure. You stepped towards him, awkwardly shuffling through the excess material around your feet and held your wrists out towards the knight. He attached the wrist cuffs and stood aside letting you walk out the door. The hallway seemed very dim compared to the harsh white light of your cell. Ren pushed past you and lead the way down the corridor. You didn't need to be asked to follow.

You tried hard not to trip over while you walked behind him but your shoes kept getting caught. You were so busy looking down at your feet as they drowned in the cloak that you didn't notice when Ren stopped walking. You slammed into the back of him and fell onto your ass. You were consciously ignoring the way the troopers on their rounds had snickered.

Quick as a flash Ren turned around, bent down, gripped the hem of your cloak and pulled roughly. The material tore away. He threw the excess aside and then continued walking in the direction he had been before you tripped. He didn't help you up so you tried to push off the ground with your hands bound.  
He kept walking, not checking if you were following. You didn't suppose he had much to worry about. You had seen the size of the base and the number of guards there were, attempting to escape wasn't even an option for you. Jogging down the hall you went to catch up with Kylo, your feet now free from the material you moved with ease.

You managed to get back to Ren's flank just as he rounded a corner, and stopped outside a pair of doors. You wanted to ask him where you were going or what you were doing but you thought better of it.

The doors opened after a minute and you were ushered into the elevator. The second the doors closed the atmosphere inside the space changed. You could _feel_ him, in your mind and your chest. The thread moving as he pulled on your light. You closed your eyes and just allowed yourself to feel.  
As much as you hated to admit it, you always looked forward to Ren's visits. The comfort, completeness and fullness you felt when he was experimenting on your bond was extremely pleasant.

You accredited that to the fact that you had been denied any type of social and physical interaction. It didn't matter why you enjoyed it you just did. It was a guilty pleasure. One you were sure Ren was aware of but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

The doors opened and you expected the feeling to disappear. It didn't. It certainly became less intense though, which was good for you since it looked like Ren was planning on walking at a pace that was more suited to jogging. Damn him and his frustratingly long legs.

The feeling from the elevator had dimmed but part of it was still there. You could feel as the line between you got tighter and tighter the faster he walked. You were struggling to keep up in your sore and weakened state.

You had to stop after a while and catch your breath. Ren thundered ahead with purpose and the bond got tighter still. It made it harder to catch your breath. Your chest heaved as you tried to pull air into your lungs.

You were leaning against the wall gasping for breath when you felt the thread get looser. With every step Ren took towards you, the easier it was for you to breathe.  
He didn't speak, he just stood over you as you leaned against the wall. His figure cast a dark shadow over you. You could breathe much better but you were exhausted from the effort. You wanted to sit down.

As if you had spoken your weariness out loud Ren looked up and down the corridor before bending down and picking you up bridal style. He walked silently and quickly to a large open space with a magnificent window that overlooked grey mountains and black forest.  
He put you down in front of the window and you plopped into a sitting position looking out at the view.

"Wow" was all you said.

The man didn't answer and he didn't move either. He stood by your side staring out at the snowy mountains just as you were. You sat like this for a while, your eyes running over the scene. The sharp points of the mountain range and the pointy black branches of the trees that hugged the base of the hills looked so cold.

The snow was falling thick and fast and the wind was blowing it around in fast swirls. You didn't feel cold though, the cloak was warm. You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your chin on them.

"Why are we here Ren?" you asked finally

"I wanted a change of scenery"

"Oh. Okay," the reply was simple enough. But he didn't answer the part you wanted to know. Why were _you_ here? Why couldn't he have come here by himself?

"You were born on Naboo?" he asked then, surprising you with his question.

"Uh yeah I was" of course he would know what planet you were born on, you had told the trooper the day you were interviewed.

"You were a slave?" You looked at him quickly. How did he know that? You didn't think you had mentioned that during the interrogation.

He was still looking out the window, seemingly ignoring you.

"Yes." Was all you said.

This was Kylo Ren. He had the resources available to find out anything he wanted to about you. It made sense. Research who he had captive. Maybe if you were the daughter of some rich politician or leader he would offer a price for your freedom.

It didn't matter. You had no family, Damon was it. No one was coming for you.

"How?" He asked

"What?"

"How did you end up in slavery?" he clarified.

"I was born into it. My mother was sold along with her sister when they were children."

"Makes sense"

"What does?" you snapped defensively.

"That you were born into it. I can't see why anyone would pay for you. You're weak."

His words hurt more than you would have liked. You had deluded yourself into thinking that because you had a power Ren desired that he thought better of you than the others he considered beneath him. It was a really stupid thing to think but it had given you strength and hope that maybe he would be kinder towards you.

Clearly, that was just a daydream. A fantasy of an ignorant child.

"How did you end up with that… boy?" You weren't sure you liked the questions.

Part of you was thrilled that you not only got to escape your cell but you were having a real conversation with another person for the first time in about 2 weeks. Another part of you was wearily on guard.

Why would Ren care about your life? Why was he taking time out of his day to make small talk with you? That wasn't him. He must be up to something. He only did things for himself and you were sure this was no different.

But you _longed_ for someone to talk to. You had _ached_ with the need. This temptation was too good to resist.

"After I escaped from slavery I tried making a living for myself. He saw me stealing poker chips from customers at the casino I worked at. He said I had the gift of light fingers and asked me to come work for him. We had been together ever since"

"It does not surprise me that the resistance sympathiser was attracted by your talents for thievery."

You didn't like how he spoke of Damon. Like he was worthless.

"He liked me for more than that" you snapped

"Hmm" was all he said in reply

"We were family"

"Family? Huh. So you feel that his kin are also yours?" He said with fake interest

"His family is dead." You said with distaste clear in your voice. You had no idea where Kylo was going with this but you didn't like it. His masked face was looking at you ominously.

"Oh I know." he said casually "I ordered the attack on his little village"

You gasped. You knew that the first order had been responsible for the murder of Damon's family and you knew Damon blamed Ren. You had always assumed it was because Kylo was more or less the scary poster boy for the whole organisation and not because he directly had something to do with it. But Ren had said he ordered the attack. Him, personally.

As devastating as the loss of the village was it didn't seem that big in comparison to some of the other atrocities that had been committed by the order. This seemed a small, insignificant attack that could easily have been ordered by an officer or general. Not. Not Ren himself. It was clear there was more to the story than you originally thought.

"Don't." he said harshly at your reaction "They betrayed the order. They betrayed my knights and by extension, myself. Their deaths were justified."

"Nothing justifies murder"

"Nothing?" he said too light for the subject of conversation "What about Tuel?"

Your breathing stopped. How… how did he know?

Tuel Wobi. That was a name you hadn't heard, hadn't even thought of since you were a child.

"Didn't he deserve to die?" he probed you.

No, no you weren't ready to think about this. You had buried these memories and emotions deep a long time ago. You thought they had been locked uptight. Obviously, they had not since Ren had been able to get to them when he had entered your mind during the interrogation.

You knew he hadn't seen it during one of your sessions with him. He didn't even try to reach for your thoughts when you meditated together. It was purely about experimenting with the thread that connected you. But what else had he seen that interrogation? What other pieces of you had he seen and collected.

Regardless of how he found out, or what else he knew you were not going to think about Tuel.

"You and I are the same" he sighed

"We most certainly are not"

"But we are" he moved so he was squatting in front of you, your eyes level

"I know he hurt you. I saw it. You were so young it was impossible to fight him off, he was so much bigger than you, so much stronger" You cringed internally as his words triggered flashes of the memory that you hadn't allowed to surface for years.

"Yet somehow you did. He was no longer pinning you down. You thought you had survived and that you were safe once more. Then the one person you thought would protect you handed you over to the man who had hurt you. What other choice did you have? He would have tried again. I understand why you did what you did. I don't judge you."

Hearing Ren make the same excuses for your actions as you had made your head spin. Ren was a monster. You were not. He killed for no reason. Tuel, he had hurt you and he would have done it again. It wasn't the same thing. You were acting in self-defence.

You didn't want to hear the words of comfort from Ren. They came so naturally from him, he must have told himself the same things. You did not want to hear you had something in common with the vile, cruel masked creature who had manipulated your submission and robbed you of your freedom.

"You see? We are the same." He stood up so he was standing over you once again. You felt so small looking up at him. It made you uneasy.

"Your friend's village had a previous arrangement with one of my knights. He had a daughter who was very ill. She needed an ancient medicine that could only be made from the swoal seeds the village farmed." He rubbed his gloved hands together as he spoke.

"On his behalf, I went to the village and offered them protection from raiders and their crops from the war if they agreed to give my knight first pick of the swoal harvest." Now he looked down at his boots, still fidgeting with his hands.

"They went against their word. They sold the whole kriffing lot to a passing merchant from some outer rim planet." His voice was low and angry, it sent chills down your spine as you listened to the rest of the story.

"We gave them one last chance to follow through. This time they called on some resistance members and told them when my knight was to return. When he arrived planetside to collect on our part of the deal, he was ambushed. My knight was unarmed, he meant them no harm." He shook his head in distaste. Taking a deep breath in he continued.

"So I gave the order to wipe out the village. They were lucky I was on a mission for my master. I would have run the entire population through the lying traitors." He almost growled the last part.

You couldn't help but be moved by the story. It just didn't make sense coming from Ren.

Every time you had heard this story and he was cast in the role as the bad guy. The villagers, the resistance, they were always portrayed as the good guys. This time the roles were reversed and you couldn't help the grimace that crossed your face when you thought of the villagers killing an unarmed man.

It just didn't make sense. Surely the villagers had been unaware of the reason the knight was there. Ren must not have disclosed everything. That was within his character you surmised. After all, he liked keeping you in the dark and just expected you to go along with it all.

"He didn't share that part of the story did he?" Kylo said when you didn't speak.

"They must not have known," you said, trying to make sense of everything.

Damon had said the attack was unprovoked but Ren felt differently. You didn't know who to believe. Who was the bad guy?

Regardless, the attack was still the genocide of an entire village. Damon said that not even the children were spared. No matter what had transpired they were innocent, they didn't deserve to be killed.

But that knight's daughter was also innocent. She didn't deserve to have her only hope of survival taken from her because of who her father served.

"They knew." Sadness was clear in his voice "They knew and they had no compassion. So we showed none in return."

He shook his head slightly and looked at you.

"This is the person you so admire"

"That's not him." You said confidently

"He is resistance scum. His family were resistance scum."

"They're not scum" you defended.

They couldn't be. They were the good guys. Ren must have made the story up to manipulate you. There is no way the resistance would kill an unarmed man while he was trying to obtain medicine for his sick child. Ren was either lying or the resistance and the villagers had no idea about the knight's daughter.

"Do you agree with him then?" he snapped

"What do you mean?"

"Do you hold the same ideals as your foolish, friend?"

"I hold my own ideals. They don't belong to anyone"

Damon had never been shy in hiding his devotion to the resistance. You often felt that if it weren't for you he would have run off to join them long ago. During your long trips, Damon would tell you stories of the war. Many of them were probably not real, after all, he had only heard of these stories from others, usually people he met in a cantina so you doubted the authenticity of many of them. However, the ones about him, about his life and his family and his first-hand experiences. You knew them to be true.

You always listened with interest and offered him comfort when he got overwhelmed by the emotions triggered. You supported him when he needed it and tried your hardest to imagine just what he must have felt when he returned home that fateful day. But try as you might you could never understand.

You remained fairly impartial to the war that was raging around you though often while on the road you sometimes travelled through the wake of destruction left behind the fighters. You remember one specific cycle in particular. You had just delivered a shipment of Tatoonian spice to a dealer on Atodooi. On your way to Tatooine to replenish your stocks, you passed through a hyperspace line that had carnage scatted around. Remains of ships were everywhere, not just First-Order and resistance ships, but civilian ships too. Damon credited this to the Order. You agreed with him while silently questioning why the resistance would allow a civilian ship to be caught in the middle of a battle that wasn't theirs.  
You didn't hold ideals with either party. The First-Order and their mission for total power and dictatorship under the supreme leader offered a future that was too oppressive for you. The resistance claimed to want balance and peace and they sought to achieve that by embracing the teachings and beliefs of the Jedi religion. From what Petra had told you, the Jedi were the keepers of peace in the galaxy. They encouraged harmony but also discouraged the feelings of intense emotions. He said that they made the members of their council suppress their more passionate emotions and that didn't right with you.

Neither suppression nor oppression were desirable futures for you. Lucky, or unlucky enough you never had to pick sides.

You were surprised that Damon had never asked you on your opinions. Maybe he just always assumed you held the same ideals him. It wasn't that you agreed with the Order. You despised the order. You had seen on many occasions how cruel and destructive they were. And certainly, if you didn't hate them before you did now.  
It was just that you were too in touch with your emotions. Good and bad. You felt anger as strongly as you felt joy. You let your emotions guide you. It was something that you had always done and the beliefs of the religion the resistance supported threatened that. They would have you embrace your happiness and peace but make you deny your sadness and anger when they were often the feelings that gave you the most drive and strength.  
When you were just a child, embracing your fear and anger gave the strength to fight off and later kill Tuel Wobi. A despicable man who, if given the chance, would have stolen your virginity.

You were still glaring up at Ren from your place on the floor. He had since gone back to look out the window.

You wanted a change of subject. The mention of Tuel had shaken you and you needed a distraction so you could carefully place all the trauma associated with that memory back into its little box.

"Why did you join the Order?" You asked Ren.

You didn't just ask him because you needed a distraction, or because you were desperate for conversation. You wanted to know. Why did he align himself with an organisation that was renowned for being so cruel?

He took a while to answer, so long that you had first thought he had chosen not to reply.

"My Master is the supreme leader. I serve him, not the order."

Oh. Did that mean he wasn't part of the order? You had always assumed that Ren was some high up important leader. He gave commands and people followed. He was so respected. Was that all out of fear then if he wasn't truly their leader?

"Do you believe in the Order's cause then?"

"Yes," he said immediately, almost instinctively. "I do not serve the order directly yet it is still my Master's cause. In serving him I serve what he believes in."

"How did you meet your Master?"

"I knew him from my childhood."

That wasn't the answer you were expecting. You would have guessed something along the lines of 'in a dark alley on some strange planet.' That made more sense than this.

"Childhood? Was he a friend of your parents?"

He snorted. Actually snorted. The sound from the mask made it almost guttural. Feral even.

"No. He was not a friend of my parents."

You had never seen the supreme leader. Maybe he was not as old as you had pictured him. You weren't sure how old Ren was but he had to be fairly young to be as fit and as ambitious as he was. You just imagined the supreme leader being aged. To have a title such as supreme leader you would have to have some amount of wisdom for your followers to place their trust in. Perhaps the supreme leader was Ren's age, a friend from childhood?

"Was he a friend of yours?"

"I suppose. But he was more of a teacher."

"A teacher? You met him at school?"

"No. I didn't go to school. Not in the traditional sense. I was taught the ways of the force my uncle's temple"

Oh of course. You had forgotten about the man's special talents.

"So he taught you the force?"

"Yes. His teachings gave me great power. More than my original teacher."

"He wasn't your original teacher?" You were surprised that the man was easily giving you so much information about his past. It was a welcome change from the usual gloomy and very robotic way he usually presented himself.

"No. My uncle was. But he was weak. Weak and afraid of the power I was capable of. He tried to suppress my abilities. My Master taught me to embrace them."

"So you left your uncle's tutoring for your Master's?"

"My uncle's belief in the Jedi religion made him weak."

The way he spoke. It didn't sound like it was coming from him. The words sounded rehearsed and rehashed. You were beginning to dislike this 'supreme leader' for more than the vile acts he had committed for his cause. It sounded like he had manipulated Ren as a child.

Then the last part of Kylo's sentence processed through your head. Jedi? His uncle was a Jedi? Did that mean that Ren had been trained as a Jedi? Your heart ached for the man. Damon had told you that years ago all the Jedi had been killed in vicious attack wiping out the last the of religion.

The resistance's roots lay entwined in the religion and they dreamt of a galaxy where the Jedi were a powerful force once again, keeping peace and order. Damon always said that would never be a reality as the last Jedi Master had died and he had not left an apprentice. Was that how the supreme leader had been able to sway young Kylo? Had he used the death of Ren's uncle to persuade him to leave the teachings of light and divulge into the dark?

"What happened? To your uncle?"

"He's alive" what? But you though the last of the Jedi had been killed?

"He won't be for much longer. I will find him and I will be the one to kill him." He said.

He wanted to kill his uncle? You couldn't understand it. You had never had any real family other than your mother. If you had been so lucky as to have an uncle, even if he was a terrible person, you couldn't imagine having any desire to want to kill him. Family were supposed to be loyal to one another no matter what. Why would Kylo want to betray his own flesh and blood?

"He is your uncle." You said simply

"He is the last Jedi. It is my mission to ensure the Jedi are dead"

The way he spoke, with so much hatred and anger, made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Ren was truly terrifying.

"I wiped out the last generation and I will wipe out the next." He said.

You took a moment to process this. He was responsible for the murder of an entire budding religion? Damon had told you about the massacre of the Jedi younglings. He never alluded to the culprit of such a vile act and truth be told you never wanted to think about it. A temple of children. All killed. For what reason? Your stomach rolled and you felt bile rise in your throat. Surely you were mistaken and Ren hadn't been the one who killed them all. You had to be.

"You killed them? All of them?" His silence to your questions gave you all the answer you needed.

You didn't cry. You were too shocked. Instead, you trembled.

"Why?" your voice was audibly shaking.

"I was not going to fail my Master." He said

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Ren had killed a building full of innocent children because his 'master' had asked him to. Was there no limit to his blind devotion to the supreme leader? You couldn't control the way your body shook. Your adrenaline was spiking an instinctual response to being so close to danger. You had never been more afraid of Ren then you were now.

"You're a monster" you whispered

The masked man was staring at you when you felt a tight sensation around your throat. Your hands shot up to try to pull away whatever it was that was choking you. You felt nothing there. Ren held his hand out and stepped towards you. He must have been using the force. It only took him half a step to be close enough for his gloved hand to clutch your neck and squeeze painfully tight.

You gasped for air as your vision blurred. You didn't close your eyes. You stared down into the black visor of his mask. If he was going to kill you then he was going to watch the life drain from your eyes. He held tighter still.  
Your heartbeat was thrumming in your ears and you felt your eyes begin to bulge as pressure mounted in your head. It was impossible to see through the tears but you forced your lids to say open until the red dots in the corner of your eyes overtook and you slipped into unconsciousness.

**KYLO REN POV**  
 _Ren watched as your body became limp under his grasp._ Control yourself, Ren, you're going to kill her. You need her alive! Release her! _His hand opened and your body fell to the floor with a pathetic thump. He was breathing heavily. Panting. The stupid mask. He couldn't get enough air in. His hands found the latch that released the airlock and he pulled the mask off quickly throwing it to the side._

_The cool air was an instant relief. He took deep calming breaths as he glanced down at you. He could see your shoulders moving slightly. Good, he hadn't killed you. He reached out to you through your force bond just to make sure. Your light flickered and licked hungrily at his darkness. He couldn't help the small grin that tugged at his lips. He secretly loved the way your force energy reacted to his. The way it so willingly wrapped around his darkness, caressing it and lapping at it. It seemed drawn to his energy the same way he was drawn to yours. Maybe it sensed the power that could be achieved by allowing the signatures to mingle. He wasn't sure why it acted so and he wasn't going to broach the subject with you. It was imperative that you remained ignorant of your abilities. Content with the fact that he hadn't killed you he retrieved his helmet and strode away from you. He ordered a passing trooper to find and place you back in the cell._

_Once back in his quarters he took his mask off once again and he paced around the living space. You were an ignorant child. A hypocrite. It wasn't like he had wanted to wipe out the temple. Many of those he killed were once his peers. You just didn't understand the supreme leader's wrath._

_If it weren't for the fact that he could see into your thoughts through your bond then he probably would have killed you and felt no remorse. Your bond was proving to be more troublesome than he anticipated. Master Snoke had warned him that the bond would bring forth new tests, he just had no idea they would be so_ emotional.  
 _The way he was able to syphon your force brought him a level of power and ecstasy he had only dreamt of. Yet it came at a price. The more he pulled on your force the more your connection solidified. That was good for the sake of channelling your power but also very problematic since he now had a direct line to your thoughts and emotions. You had no idea of your force abilities you had never practised shielding your mind so it was if you were screaming your every thought and feeling at him._  
 _The wall that had been in place when he first met you was a mental manifestation of the ways you had physically shielded and defended yourself in the past. Once you knocked that mental wall down Ren had had complete access._

_This was difficult for him since he had to constantly work on blocking you out. It was harder than he imagined. Most of the time people actively_ tried _keeping him out. He didn't know whether it was because of your bond or because you simply had no idea how to do it that caused your voice to be ever-present in the back of his mind. It wasn't your thoughts that were the source of his stress however, it was your emotions._

_Feeling what you felt was the most difficult for Ren. You were a very emotionally diverse person. For so long all he had allowed himself to feel was anger, hatred and passion. Now he was getting glimpses of new emotions. He knew they were yours and not his own but still, they were extremely bothersome. They must have been what caused the tug of regret he felt when he thought of how close he had just come to ending your life._

_Either that or the tiny piece of his former life was rocked by the intense feeling of terror that had coursed through you as he gripped your throat. He didn't like either option._  
 _He had never before had to experience the fear he invoked in others while he was holding their life in his hands. Everyone else's mind remained closed to him unless he purposefully tried to penetrate it. Never before had he felt guilt for his actions. The guilt he felt now, however, was easily overshadowed by the anger he directed towards you and_ feelings. _He supposed that the emotional challenges were his payment, his debt for having pure untamed power at his fingertips from drawing on your bond._

_Ren could now hear your groggy thoughts in the back of his mind. You were awake. He placed a mental shield in his head to block you out. He had things to do today and he couldn't afford to have your nonsensical thoughts distract him._

_He kept you out of his head during the day as he went about his business. Today he had met with his Master. Snoke was pleased with how much the bond had been established, he now wanted Ren to see how far the bond stretched and whether he could still syphon your force at a distance._

_Kylo had planned on taking his TIE silencer out for a joy flight and so after he skilfully and playfully manoeuvred the spacecraft through the asteroid belt near the moon off Starkiller, he tested the bond. He could feel you there at the back of his mind but when he tried tugging on that thread that stretched between you he found it was too taut to get a grip on. He tried again and again. It was mentally exhausting. Nothing was working. He couldn't latch on. Closing his eyes he could see the bond. His dark force signature tethered to yours. It was there and it stretched deep into the distance. He could feel you at the other end but he couldn't pull your energy to himself. The frustration of not being able to get a hold on your force is what lead him to return to back to Starkiller and out the front of your cell door. Here, with you just on the other side, he could easily grip the thread._ Agh! _Why must things always be so difficult?_

_When you slept Ren dropped his shield and allowed himself to explore your mind as he did every night. This he could do from his quarters. It seemed that within your bond the ability to enter into one another's minds didn't have a maximum distance. Only Ren's ability to borrow your force energy did. It angered him greatly that he didn't understand why that was._   
_Looking into your thoughts and memories as you slept gave him the only possible answer he could think of. You were afraid of Ren. Especially now after he had force strangled you. You didn't trust his unpredictable nature and so you were always on guard around him. He knew this not only from your thoughts but from your behaviour when he came to meditate with you._

_You would flinch away from him when he moved too quickly. Your shoulders were always held a little too tensely. You sometimes still resisted him when he pulled on your force a little too harshly. Maybe if you feared him less, if you found you could trust in him then you would drop your defences. Maybe then it would be easier to channel your force at a distance._   
_It had to work. Snoke was counting on it. Ren would not fail him. If he needed to gain your trust then he would. It was a few nights later when Kylo was exploring your thoughts that he came across the memory you had from your hose down. He saw how vulnerable and exposed you felt. He growled in response to the emotional experience. Ren had instructed that you be bathed, not humiliated in front of a group. He had seen the bruises on your body and your black eye. At the time he had forced himself not to ask. He didn't want you to mistake his curiosity for concern._

_A small part of him registered its surprise at his angry reaction to the memory._ Why should he care?  
 _Was he angry that you had been hurt or was he furious that Hux's Troopers hadn't obeyed his orders? He had promised you that you were a guest. You had so far been exceptionally well behaved. That treatment was unjustified and cruel. No, he thought, he didn't care that they had mistreated you, not really, he cared that they had gone against orders._  
 _It was only about power for him. Your_ feelings _were inconsequential to him. The only reason he had asked you about your past today was because he wanted to open a conversation with you so he could tell you about what kind of person you had given your freedom up for. It wasn't that Kylo didn't respect your loyalty to Damon, in fact, he admired it, was almost envious of it. When he was inside the boy's head he could tell that he took you for granted. He cared for you but mostly just because one day he hoped that you would feel for him what he so obviously felt for you._

_Ren surmised that for someone with such burning passion, your allegiance to this boy and his loose resistance morals would be better suited in something that appreciated and recognised the gift you so willingly gave._   
_If half of Hux's troopers gave themselves to the cause as much as you gave yourself to Damon then they would be an unstoppable force._   
_As much as the memory of your hose down angered him it also gave him an idea on how to earn your trust. He saw how naked you felt without your bindings. They had become almost like a security blanket for you. Something that brought you comfort. So he went to your cell as you were sleeping._   
_You looked so peaceful so someone with such ravaging thoughts. Carefully as not to wake you he placed the breast bindings at the end of your bed before leaving and returning to his quarters._

_That night he slept restlessly._

_He saw in his dreams a force vision. It was you. You were standing in a clearing across from him. He recognised it as a clearing he frequented on the base. It was secluded and open enough that he could train with his saber without the confines of his mask. In his vision, you stood at the edge of his snowy clearing. You were dressed in all black. Suddenly the vision flashed and he was in Snoke's throne room. Standing across from him was you. He walked over to you and held out his lightsaber. The red illuminated your face beautifully. His un-gloved hand when to your cheek as he bent down and placed a very soft kiss on your forehead_   
_"Hmm Keira" he sighed "my little dark one."_

_The vision shook him from his slumber._

It had been a few cycles since you had awoken back in your cell. Your throat was so sore that first day it hurt to speak, and even when you did speak your voice was so raspy you barely recognised it. You hadn't had any visitors other than the droid that brought your meals. Ren hadn't made an appearance and for that you were glad.

During your days of confinement since the strangling incident, you had plenty of time to reflect. Kylo terrified you, more so now than he had before. You used to be under some false illusion that you were 'special' to him and therefore immune to his wrath. How wrong that had been. While you weren't immune you definitely were… _something._

The proof was in the very fact that you were still here. Alive. Ren didn't kill you and he could have so easily. That meant that you were worth more to him alive than dead. It still bothered you that you didn't know _why_ that was but nevertheless it was enough to ensure you remained alive. Of course, that was only temporary.

You would only be alive so long as you had something to offer Ren, he had said so himself. You would remain his _guest_ as long as you were of use. The key to surviving was simple. Don't stop being useful. Keep playing his game and let him win until you can figure out a way to escape.

Kylo would return at some point. You weren't sure why you were so certain of this, it was just a feeling that ran so deep you could swear it was written on your bones.

When he did return you would try everything in your power to get him to divulge on what it was that you offered him. Why he needed you alive. Once you understood what you were to him, then you could try to prolong your stay. Do whatever necessary to keep yourself alive until you got the chance to find freedom.  
You would have to work hard. Try and gain your strength back so if the opportunity did arise you would have the best chance. But this was going to take time, lucky for you, you had nothing but time to kill. You would try simple exercises in your cell to help pass the hours. But you could get through few before you were panting with the exhaustion. You would need to build your stamina back up.

Maybe your weariness was due to the number of dreams you were having. Every night you would dream. Vividly. More vividly than you could ever remember dreaming before. Sometimes they were memories of your childhood or your time living on Cantonica. Other times they were flashes of colour and intense emotions.  
Tonight when you slept you dreamt of a clearing covered in billowing white snow. Your eyes adjusted in the low light to take in your surroundings. Straining you thought you could see a figure at the edge of the clearing but it was so far away you couldn't make it out properly. Suddenly the scene changed and the snow disappeared. You were in an empty room. It was dark. The figure from the clearing was here and it was closer now. It was still too far away to make out any features but you could tell that it was small, tiny even. Strange, it had looked so much bigger before. Again the scene changed as the figure was illuminated by a flash of bright red light and you were overcome with the feelings of intense anger, betrayal and… desire?

You woke up drenched in sweat and utterly spent. Rubbing your eyes you went to go to the washer. As you moved your legs to the ground a soft thud alerted you to the small pile of fabric that had fallen from the end of your bed to the floor.

Picking it up you realised what they were. Bindings. New ones. The black material was silky and felt so soft under your fingers. They would have been expensive. More expensive than any you had ever owned anyway.

You didn't know why you did it but your mind floated to Kylo Ren.

Agh no, why were you even thinking about him? So what if he gave these to you. It probably wasn't even him. Ren was cruel and if your last encounter was anything to go off he didn't like you and your personal comfort was certainly of no interest to him. It must have been a droid. They brought clean jumpsuits every couple of days along with underwear. Maybe someone programmed it to include bindings now. You told yourself what you had to in order to feel okay about accepting the gift.

You had completely lost all sense of time by now. The strangling incident felt like it was ages ago. Your throat had stopped hurting and your voice had returned to normal which was a relief to you. Now you could vocalise lines from the memories that you played like a film in your head every day. It gave you some sense of comfort to be able to hear something, anything.

You also had begun to sleep clutching the large cloak Ren had given you. It brought you an immense amount of comfort just holding something in your arms when you slept. At times you liked to imagine you were back on Naboo and the cloak was Gilli.

The lights in the cell remained on so you slept with a piece of ripped linen over your eyes. It worked some but the light always managed to creep in. You stirred in your sleep, rolling over. You had slept so heavily tonight that you didn't even register that the action should have caused you to fall to the floor.  
The motion also caused your eye covering to fall away which should have left you vulnerable to the harsh light of your cell. But you didn't rouse. There was no light in the room and so you continued to doze and have the most restful sleep you had had since you arrived on the base.

It was several hours later that you woke. You were suspiciously comfortable. You opened your eyes but saw nothing. That was new. The lights had never been switched off before. Maybe there was a power outage?

Your eyes squinted in the darkness. Something was off. The room looked too big. There was a small movement in the room. Some weight shifted at the end of your bed. Your heart immediately started pounding in your chest. Experimentally you straightened your knees, feet sliding towards the end of the bed. You stopped breathing when they touched something solid. Something warm.

You bolted upright in bed eyes fixed on the figure sitting at the end of it staring you down.

You quickly pulled yourself into a crouching position, something that felt defensive. The figure didn't move. Your eyes had adjusted enough that you could make out the large mask that the man wore.

You relaxed slightly after identifying the figure but still kept your position. Why was he in your cell? Why was he watching you sleep?

"What are you doing here?" you demanded breathlessly. Your heart was still trying to return to its normal rhythm.

"You're in _my_ quarters" He answered.

He waved his hand and a small bedside light came on. Looking around the room you could see that you weren't in your cell. The room was totally different. You had thought the bed seemed too comfortable to be that pathetic excuse for a cot in your cell. How had you ended up here? He must have moved you in your sleep. You cringed at the violation.

"Why am I in your quarters Ren?" you all but snapped.

Your previous planning seemed to go out of the window. You knew you shouldn't provoke him, that it was in your best interest to instead try to get him to let his guard down so you could learn why you were truly here. Then you could bide your time until you could make your escape. You knew that was the logical and smart thing to do.

But seeing him again. Hearing his modulated voice. You were afraid and automatically defensive. Your instincts screamed at you to run to fight to do anything that would put distance between the two of you.

"You're afraid of me," He said simply, choosing not to answer your question.

"Do you blame me? The last time I saw you, you almost killed me."

"I know. How unfortunate that would have been too. You are of great use to me."

You weren't expecting an apology but the way he worded that sentence made you angry. He had no remorse. He didn't find the possibility of your death unfortunate because you would have died. That you would have ceased to exist. He had only been bothered by the fact that your premature death would have disadvantaged him.

"You have done well so far but you are still resisting me" disappointment was clear in his voice.

You inhaled quickly. You hadn't been resisting him. Not in the slightest. If he thought you had been hindering his progress and going against your promise he might hunt down Damon.

"I haven't, I swear. Please don-"

"I know you haven't been resisting me consciously" He interrupted

"Oh. Okay. Good"

"However the fact is that your natural instincts are trying to shield what I need from you"

"I'm not sure how… I don't know if I can stop… if" panic was clear in your voice.

If you couldn't fix this… this issue then how would you ever be of real use to him? He would dispose of you before you ever got the chance to figure out an escape.

"I don't believe it's something you can just stop doing," He said.

A wave of relief swept through you.

"You're afraid of me. You don't trust me. Those emotions run deep within you. I think that is why part of you still resists me"

"Okay," you said cautiously.

Ren obviously had a plan to rectify this predicament and you weren't entirely sure where you liked where it was headed.

"If it is your fear that is the problem then you will have to stop being afraid" He stated as if it were the most simple thing in the world.

Like you could just switch off your emotions whenever it didn't suit. You internally rolled your eyes at his stupid quick fix idea.

"Ren… I…" you started to say but stopped when he moved his hands to his helmet.

"Ren, what are you doing?"

He didn't reply. You watched in utter disbelief as the mask let out a soft _hiss_. He lifted slowly and removed it. At first, you couldn't see much because he held his face down looking at the ground. Thick waves of dark hair fell forward hiding his facial features from you.

You gasped silently when he did look up at you. His glassy brown eyes bearing into yours. He looked so… normal. He was much younger than you had thought. The freckles that painted his face made him look almost boyish.

What was he playing at?

"W-uh… what?" was all you managed to get out.

The intensity of his gaze was almost uncomfortable. But you didn't look away. You were too shocked.

"I told you. I need to make you not afraid" His unmodulated voice was soft. It soothed your anxiety in an instant and you finally relaxed out of your defensive stance. You sat crossed legged, torso facing the unmasked man.

His gaze moved to watch you as your body changed positions and a ghost of a smirk appeared. This pleased him. Suddenly his motives became clear. He had removed his helmet as a way of creating trust between the two of you. He was going to try to earn your trust in order to make you unafraid of him. This act was calculated and manipulative just like the release of Damon had been. It was done not to bring you comfort but to further along his plans.

And what you hated most about the gesture, was how you had reacted exactly as he had hoped. Both times.  
You continued to stare at him as he got off the bed and placed his mask on a desk in the corner of the room. He removed his scarf, cloak and armour until he was left in his slacks and a tight long sleeve shirt.

You knew you had been watching too intently for too long but you just couldn't look away. He was so human.  
"Didn't your mother ever tell you that staring was rude?" he quipped

"Sorry," you said and quickly looked away.

This was so strange. So awkward. Here you were sitting on his bed while he all but stripped in front of you. Where should you look? What should you say? You didn't want to overload him with the hundreds of questions that were running around your head. You didn't want to ask him because you were afraid of how he would react.

Good. You hadn't completely fallen into his trap. You still were afraid of him. But seeing the person under the mask had softened you to him slightly. It was harder to imagine this… man being the monster who almost ended your life. Maybe this was all Ren was trying to achieve?

To plant the seeds of doubt. He would water them if that was his plan. He would make sure that you bent to his will, that you let go of your fear so that he could have better access to your _power._

If you thought about it like that. Reminded yourself every time he did something that there were ulterior motives to his actions. That he was never ever transparent. Then it would be easier to maintain even just a small piece of that fear and distrust. If you feared him even just a little then maybe it would continue to subtly slow his progress down.

Anything to prolong your usefulness was important and something to be explored.

Reminding yourself of his true colours would be hard to do. Especially when he had his mask off. You had already caught yourself gazing longingly at his profile. His shiny hair was extremely distracting. But it had to be done. He was a monster. He was the cruellest and most evil of his kind since he could parade around and disguise himself as someone who looked harmless.

He was danger. He was darkness. You must never forget that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this. I was really worried about including Ren's pov but I ultimately decided it was needed to A- create some drama and juice in this boring chapter and B- give you guys some more understanding behind why the reader is so important to Ren. 
> 
> Btw I'm going to have Ren use the name he called her in his vision throughout the book rather than y/n bc its easier to write. Keira means "little dark one" in Irish or something idk but I thought it was appropriate. Don't worry I'll introduce it naturally in the next chapter or so


	4. Gossip sessions and sleepovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, I have been so busy at work. 
> 
> Hope it's not totally boring xx

You could hear the soft trickle of water through the chrome door. Ren had excused himself to use the fresher and left you alone. In his quarters. On his bed. The entire situation you found yourself in was confusing. The last time you had seen him he had held your life in his hands, literally. Now he had revealed himself to you and just gone about his evening like it wasn't that big of a deal.

You walked over to the black mask he had placed on the desk. It was so intimidating. Picking it up you gasped at the weight of it. How did his neck not cramp up? This thing was heavy. The silver metal that wrapped around the eye visor was cool to the touch. Even this close you couldn't see through the eye slots into the empty mask.

This was the first time you had been able to study the mask up close and you noticed that it was decorated in hundreds of shallow scratches. Marks from battle and every day wear and tear you supposed. You smiled internally. It was nice to see that the mask was flawed. It made it seem less oppressive to see that it wasn't immune.

The sound of the water being turned off signalled that your snooping had come to an end. Taking two quick steps across the room you jumped back into the bed and resumed the position you had been in when Ren left.

He emerged with only a pair of black trousers.

His hair was damp and his skin was flushed a slight red as if the water from his fresher was very hot.

He made a gesture to the room behind him and raised his eyebrows expectantly. When you didn't speak he spoke,

"Would you like to use the fresher?"

The thought of a nice hot shower practically made your mouth water. It was on odd reaction to have but you had been only been left with the small sink in your cell to wash with, so you didn't care that your desire for a proper clean was probably written clear as day on your face.

You knew what Ren was doing by offering the use of his personal fresher. You knew and you didn't care. Manipulation be dammed. You would fight back tomorrow. Right now all you wanted was to sit under the stream of warm water and wash away all the stress and pain you had endured in the past few weeks? Months?

Looking at Ren and nodded your head as you waited for him to step out of the doorway before you made a move towards the bathroom.

The door shut behind you automatically and already your stress began to ease. The room was steamy from Ren's shower but the wet heat was a comfort to you. It reminded you of the small stuffy room next to the laundry that you and your mother lived in on Naboo.

Ren's bathroom was bigger than your cell and was very different from his chrome metallic style bedroom. It was very… white. It had a large mirror over the lavish sink and you stopped dead in your tracks when you caught sight of your reflection. You were dressed in your prisoner's jumpsuit but it was no longer skin tight. It hung all wrong in places.

Your eyes never left your body as you watched yourself undress. Slowly, almost seductively you pulled the suit down over your shoulders, midriff and wriggled it down your legs. You stood in the humid room staring at your naked body. You had lost weight. A lot. Your curves were less pronounced and the taser scars on your ribs and collar bone stood out against the rest of your skin. The bacta had helped some but the wounds were still pink and shiny. You went to unwind the wrapping around your breasts. In an attempt to bring comfort to yourself you had wrapped your bindings tightly around your chest yesterday in the hopes it would feel like some kind of hug or embrace. You had wrapped them so tight that you now had dents and creases left in your skin. You would have to rewrap them looser today. As your eyes continued to roam over your body you noticed the almost healed yellow marks on your neck.

Well, what did you expect? Your captors hadn't been gentle with you.

You sighed trying to come to grips with the fact that this was your life now. You were destined to be a slave. A captive. A prisoner. This whole experience was a sick type of cosmic karma for escaping your original master in the first place. Turning away from the mirror you started toward the fresher.

The sound of running water was so familiar that when you closed your eyes you could pretend you were back on board the light freighter with Damon. Almost.

How had you had taken so much for granted when you were exploring the galaxy with your best friend? It really was a cruel joke. A trick. Allowing you to have a taste of true freedom and let it become so normal to you that you forgot how miserable you had been only to rip that freedom away from you once again and plunge you back into a life of captivity. The universe was merciless.

The week before you had been imprisoned you were thinking about how stressful your work was. How you never really felt content. You felt caged in your job. So limited. You never stayed in one place too long so you never had the chance to make any meaningful connections. You couldn't quit your job, you needed the income and you couldn't have done that to Damon. You used to feel trapped. Now you realise how free you were. How depressingly ironic.

If you could have you would've stayed under the steady stream of hot water for hours. It had been far too long since you had a proper wash and you were grateful for the chance to wash your hair with actual soap.

The shampoo had a very pleasant clean smell. Although anything would have smelt clean to you after having nothing but plain water to wash with.

You helped yourself to the white towel that was hung over a heated railing to dry yourself. The red marks from your bindings hadn't faded under the water. You redid them looser to let your skin breathe a little bit. You slipped back into the jumpsuit and attempted at towel drying your hair. You used to always blow dry it but you didn't have the guts to go snooping in Ren's draws to find one.

The air outside the bathroom was cold and it hit you in the face as soon as you stepped out. It shocked you and you inhaled quickly. Maybe it was because you had just been in a warm room but Ren's quarters seemed a lot colder than your tiny cell.

The man in question was spread out on his bed, still without a shirt, his hands behind his head. He looked over when he heard you coming.

"Thank you," you said shyly, "you have no idea how much I needed that."

He didn't speak, he just watched you. Eyes taking in your wet hair. It made you uncomfortable and you tried to fill the awkward silence.

"I couldn't remember the last time I had used a washer" no response.

"I used some of your shampoo, I hope that is okay." _Shut up! Stop talking!_

You stood awkwardly halfway between him, his bed and the door to the fresher. Not sure where to look you fiddled with the loose material of your jumpsuit sleeves.

"Come here" he finally said as he patted the space next to him.

You shuffle forward and sit on the very edge of the bed, leaving as much space between the two of you as you could. Your body was facing out, towards the open room but you twisted your middle so your shoulders and head were facing him.

He moved so he was sitting slightly, leaning on his arm as he turned his body to the side so he was looking at you head-on. With the arm he wasn't leaning against he reached up and moved the black material by your collar to the side.

His soft fingers traced your naked skin and it made your stomach backflip. Not because it was a strangely intimate action but because it was the first bit of actual human skin to skin contact you had had in… too long.

His eyes just watched his fingers as he pulled the jumpsuit aside. You gasped loudly drawing in a sharp breath when you felt him trace the scar along your collar.

He hummed "This has healed nicely"

"Uh-" your voice cracked and you cleared your throat before trying again

"Yes"

"Are you still receiving bacta treatments?"

"No. The droids stopped coming a while ago"

He pulled his hand away and you inwardly cringed as a tiny whimper escaped your lips at the loss of contact.

"You need more, that scar won't fade on its own"

He wasn't being nice you tried to remind yourself. He has ulterior motives. This is for his gain.

He's a monster, he almost killed you, he is only being nice to you because he needs something, he's a monster, he's a monster.

You repeated the words in your head like a mantra. You almost wished he went back to being all dark, mean, distant and mysterious. At least back then all you knew of him was limited to the brief meditative sessions in your cell and you didn't have these fake kind gestures to confuse you.

"Are you still afraid?" he interrupted.

Of course, straight to the point. Did he realise that earning someone's trust was going to take more than a shower?

 _Actually_ , you thought. He might not. Kylo Ren wasn't the kind of person who cared about trust. He ruled with fear and intimidation as did the rest of the First-Order. A part of you hoped that he was out of his comfort zone and that this attempt to be _nice_ was foreign territory for him. That it created a sense of uncertainty and unease.

But the causal way he lounged against his pillows made you doubt that it did. _Bastard._

He raised his eyebrows still waiting for your answer.

Were you afraid? Maybe. You weren't afraid like you were the last time you sat next to him. Back when he admitted to almost single handily annihilating an entire religion right before he had held you by the neck. No, you weren't feeling like that. You felt somewhat more secure now. But not at ease.

You doubted you ever would be able to be at ease in his presence. If now -free of his armour and helmet, unarmed and altogether the most physically vulnerable you had ever seen him- you were still on edge then you found it very hard to imagine any scenario where you would be comfortable with him.

Maybe after a long time. After years of your captivity, you would find yourself liking him purely because he was all you saw and knew. Maybe then you would let all your guards down just because it was too exhausting to keep them up. Maybe when you forgot what freedom tasted like and you lost sight of what it meant to be alive.

But that was a long, _long_ way away.

You decided to answer his question as honestly as you could. No need to try lying, he would just have to force his way into your head and he could see what you were hiding.

"Yes and no"

He looked surprised at your answer. Was he expecting you to just say yes?

"My Master was right. You are valorous. I only hope it doesn't prove to be your downfall"

His Master? Oh so he was discussing you with his Master, was he? You shouldn't have been surprised, he had taken lives in the name of his supreme leader so it makes sense that he would be keeping the supreme leader informed, especially when you supposedly were only here to benefit Kylo Ren. Still, it irked you to picture the two of them getting together to discuss you.

"I would have thought a military man like yourself would find valour a desirable quality" you quipped

He huffed. Not in an angry way. His eyes lit up like he found your comment humorous.

"Yes, as long as it doesn't impair a soldier's ability to follow orders. Doesn't sway him from the ideals and goals of his superiors. You… your loyalties lie with my enemy. Having valour is desirable… _if_ you're on the right team"

"What else has your _master_ said about me?" you couldn't help how your toned changed when you said the word master.

His eyebrows drew together. He didn't appreciate the inflection in your voice.

"What the supreme leader says to me is none of your business" he snapped.

"Right," you said emphasizing the 't' sound.

You turned your shoulders away from him so you were facing the rest of the room. His eye contact made you squirm, it was like he was looking right through you.

"You would do well to respect him," he said from behind you. You couldn't help but hear the underlying warning in his statement.

The supreme leader was Ren's teacher, so he must have known how to use the force. Of course! How had you not put two and two together? But… oh. He was Ren's teacher. He knew more about the force than Kylo did. He would be more powerful. He set Ren's nerves on edge. You prayed that you would never have the distinct displeasure of making the supreme leaders acquaintance.

You swallowed hard.

Ren must have sensed your anxiety because he changed the subject.

"What was it like? Being a governor's slave?"

You turned to look at him again. Was he serious?

"It was… slavery" you answer simply

He looked intently at you, clearly waiting for you to elaborate. Why was he asking you this? What could he possibly hope to gain from learning this? Did he get off on hearing how you suffered? If he thought getting you to spill your guts about your life was going to help you to trust him then he had another thing coming. It's not like he was curious. If he _really_ wanted to know then he could just take it from your head. Pluck it right from your memories. He clearly just liked to remind you who held the power between the two of you. Bastard.

"What do you want to hear Ren? I was someone's property. They owned me. I did whatever I was told to. I had no rights. My mother had no rights. We weren't even considered people. We were assets, furniture." You spat.

"But you didn't have it as bad as others" he countered not even phased by your outburst for which a small part of you was glad. If he took offence to your sudden temper tantrum he could have hurt you again.

"No…" you said relaxing as you thought back on to your happiest memories from Naboo. Golden warm sun. Cool clear water running over your bare feet. Dirt under your fingernails from digging in the forest with Gilli.

"Why do you think that is?" He asked

It was natural that he asks this. You had thought back onto it yourself many times.

Before Gilli died you had no real responsibilities. Sure, you had to tend to some household duties but they were minimal. You usually finished by lunch and were able to play in the servant's quarters or the forest. You knew some kids younger than you had been sent to the mines. Yet you weren't. Not until your lack of duties was pointed out by Heeqoss.

"I don't know. One of my master's sons was fond of me, I suppose he had something to do with it" You knew he didn't.

Petra may have been kind to you but he wouldn't have had anything to do with your lack of work. It was just something you liked to imagine. The thought got you through the first few months in the mines. You imagined Petra storming into his father's ridiculously lavish office and demanding to know why you weren't in the parlour dusting.

But you knew he didn't. He probably didn't even notice you were gone. He had spoken brief comments to you in passing and only once had you had an actual conversation with him. You remember the day like it was yesterday.

_You were polishing the oversized silver vase for the third time that week. Mistress Solen had been on a rampage this week. They were hosting the royal family and she wanted everything to be;_

_"Spick and span! I do not want to see a crumb. A smudge. A speck of dirt. Everything must be perfect. If things are not up to standard you will get quarter rations for the next month! Do I make myself clear little gimp?"_

_You had just nodded dutifully and quickly made yourself busy dusting or polishing or sweeping whatever was closest to you._

_This morning would be no different. You moved from the large vase to the gold-framed mirror and wiped the surface. In the reflection, you saw when your master's wife had entered the room._

_"Excuse me, lackey? What do you call this?"_ _her shrill voice squeaked as she held up a flower._

_You knew what her issue was. It was slightly wilted. For some reason, you decided to play dumb._

_"It is a flower mistress"_

_Her eyes flashed. She was livid._

_"I know it's a flower. I want to know why you placed dead flowers in my entryway? Everyone sees those arrangements. It is the first impression visitors get of the household. What do you think they will think of our home if they saw this?" she shoved the flower in your direction. The weight of the petals caused it to limp forward over the stem pathetically._

_"I'm not sure mistress," you say casting your eyes to the floor in an act of respect_

_"You're not sure?" she mocked before she struck the side of your face with her open palm._

_Your cheek stung but you didn't flinch and you didn't lookup. You didn't want her to see the tears that were welling in your eyes. You weren't supposed to have feelings. If she saw you crying she would punish you even more._

_"You are the laziest slave in our keep. Do better you filthy tick, otherwise, you might find yourself waking up on another master's roster and I promise you they won't be as nice as I have been," she said as she spun on her heel and left with a huff._

_When she was gone you felt safe to look up and face the mirror behind you. Your left cheek had a red hand mark across it. You hoped it faded by the time your mother came home from labour. She couldn't do anything about it but you hated when she made a fuss over your mistreatment. It made you feel so bad. She was suffering in the mines with no natural light, no fresh air or clean running water for hours a day. You had nothing to complain about. Your mother shouldn't be wasting her energy worrying about you. She had so much more on her plate._

_Collecting yourself you grabbed the basket of cleaning supplies you had placed on the floor by the piano and went to leave the room. As you passed the long drapes that hung extravagantly down the main wall in the parlour you heard a noise._

_"Psst"_

_You turned around, looking for the source of the sound._

_"Psst, over here"_

_It was coming from behind the drapes. Slowly and cautiously you made your way over to them._

_"Who's there?"_

_The thick red material shifted suddenly and the eldest son of the household stuck his head out. His eyes looked to his left and right before he spoke._

_"Are you okay?" he asked_

_He had seen his mother slap you. You were slightly taken aback by his question. Why did he care?_

_"Um yes… yes I'm fine sir" You suddenly remembered who you were talking to and you cast your eyes to the floor._

_You jumped slightly when you felt his hand pinch your chin and lift your gaze to look at him. His eyes studied your face, looking at every freckle, every crease and every scuff of dirt. No one had ever looked at you with such interest before, it made butterflies appear in your stomach._

_"Hey, don't dwell on what mother said. Our visitors complimented the clean house when they arrived. Mother was very happy about that, though she would never admit it I could tell. You're not lazy. She knows that." he winked at you_

_You smiled shyly at him._

_"Listen, don't tell anyone I said this… but you don't need to worry about being sold off. Father would never allow it"_

_You gazed questioningly in his deep sparkly eyes._

_"I gotta go. Remember, don't tell anyone I was here" he said quickly before the ducked back behind the curtain._

You're not sure why he had singled you out. He continued to treat you with an unusual amount of respect. If you were older you would have been suspicious of him. But you were only a child, you simply assumed he was just a kind person.

"Do you believe that?" he asked finally

"I have no other explanation" That was partly true.

You didn't like talking about this. These were questions were too revealing. But you didn't say that out loud. You wanted to avoid anything that would encourage Ren. You wanted him to lose interest in this game of 20 questions before he poked at an old wound like he had last time.

"Will you tell me about what happened with Tuel?" he asked catching you completely off guard.

So much for avoiding old wounds, "You already know what happened" you said dismissively.

"I've seen what happened leading up to the _murder,_ " _Agh_ that word. Murder. It made your stomach roll and eyes sting. It wasn't murder, it was self-defence. You had never thought of what you did as murder, you didn't think you could stand to.

Kylo's voice dropped in volume slightly as he spoke the last part of his sentence "and the act itself."

"Then what else is there to know Ren?"

"I want to know why you did it"

He knew why. Tuel tried taking advantage of you. What else was there to tell him?

"You saw what he… he almost did to me"

"Yes, but that didn't mean you had to kill him"

You just stared into his brown eyes unsure what he meant by that.

"You made the choice to kill him. He didn't have to die" he added

"What?" You had to have misunderstood. It didn't make sense why he would say that. Of course, you had had no choice. He would have done it again.

"Yes, he attacked you, but nowhere is it written that the price for that discretion is death. You decided to take matters into your own hands"

"No, that's not what happened, you're twisting it" you gushed in a hurry to get the words out. He had to understand. You had no choice. You had no choice. That was the only explanation that kept you from drowning in guilt. You had no choice. He couldn't take away this excuse. He couldn't.

You hated the way he manipulated your mindset. The only way you had been able to cope with what you did all those years ago was by reassuring yourself that, 'I didn't have a choice, I didn't have a choice.' Now Ren's deep smooth voice penetrated your mind 'you did have a choice, you did have a choice.'

The words made you sick. You wouldn't let yourself believe them. Your breathing accelerated.

"It is what happened. I have been the hand that dealt the fatal blow to many people. But I chose to do that. It is always a choice. You had a choice."

You felt like you were going to explode. Your heart was racing as you sucked in shallow breaths. He needed to stop talking. He had to stop. You couldn't take it. He had a point. You didn't _have_ to kill him. No! But you _did_ have to. You were protecting yourself. Your head spun.

The beautiful boy in front of you stared through your teary eyes almost right down into your soul. You felt like he saw into you, through you. He may not look like a monster but he was one. Having a pretty face was just another one of his cruel tricks, it helped him lull you into a false sense of security.

"Shut up!" You yelled as you whipped your body all the way around to face Ren who was still lying lazily on the bed. You kneeled on the bed in front of him but perched up so you were higher than him.

"Shut the fuck up! You have no idea what you're talking about" you were still yelling but your voice was starting to crack.

"No? So tell me then, why did you kill him?" he probed

"You know why!"

"If I did I wouldn't be asking. Why did you choose to kill him?" He just wasn't giving up.

"I didn't" The dam of tears would break soon and you only hoped he could tell that they were tears of anger not tears of sadness.

He still stared at you, waiting for an answer.

"Please just leave me alone"

"Why did you kill him?" he said again

You shook your head. No, you weren't going to go back into those memories. The tears had started falling now and there was no use trying to hide them. They streamed down your cheeks leaving them wet and cold to the brisk air of Ren's quarters.

"Tell me, Kiera!" He yelled at you as he sat up "Why did you kill him?!"

His voice was so loud and authoritative even without the mask. You instinctively cowered at the sound of it.

"I can't" you practically sobbed "I can't. Just look," you said reaching out and grabbing his hand without thinking "Please stop. Look. I can't" you brought his hand to your head as your eyes closed while the tears fell heavy.

His warm, soft hand sent shivers down your spine. It felt so good to touch someone's skin.

He ripped his hand away from you as he spat "If looking into your head gave me the answer I wanted I would have done so already"

You just sat on the edge of his bed falling back onto your knees, your hands resting cupped in your lap. You were trying to recreate the feeling Ren's hands had provoked in you to no success. Your eyes were closed. There was no use trying to keep them open. You wouldn't be able to see through the tears. You must have looked so pathetic.

You heard a long intake of breath before Kylo spoke again

"I can't see what you felt in the moment, only what did and thought," he said calmly.

You sniffled and rubbed the back of your hand across your nose. He wanted to know what you had felt? Why? What did that matter? He said he had seen the act itself. He already knew more than you did and now he wanted this too? You couldn't recall what happened in the moment. The moment you took a man's life. He had more than enough. He didn't need this too. The horror, guilt, and overwhelming fear and anger you felt that day still knocked the wind from you.

"You need to see that we are not so different." He almost whispered

"We are not the same" you wanted it to sound sure, to sound brave and confident, unwavering. But it didn't. It sounded broken and wet from your tears.

"Tell me why you killed him" he tried again

You had no fight left. He was only going to poke you harder to get the response he wanted and so you gave in, "I was afraid"

There. That wasn't so hard. Only you knew new afraid was a loose definition for what you felt that day. Terror came closer.

"I don't even remember doing it. I think I blacked out. I was just so scared. So angry. I was pulled on board his ship and then the next thing I remember is seeing his body slumped down in the corner of the room. I knew I must have done it I was the only other person on board…" you trailed off finally letting yourself remember everything about that day.

It was the second time you had defended yourself against the man. The first time he had attacked you and while you don't remember how you did it you knew you had fought him off you. This time he hadn't attacked you physically. Instead, he had taunted you, telling you in gruelling detail what he planned to do to you once you arrived back on his home planet. His words had been etched into your mind, burned into your soul. They caused an amount of fear that even Kylo Ren hadn't been able to induce in you. The next thing you remember is waking up outside of the small cage he had locked you in. Tuel was laying away from you, small trickles of blood running from his ears and nose.

"Are you satisfied?" you snapped

He considered for a moment, taking in what you had said. You wanted to be angry at Kylo for forcing you to share the most personal details of the worst day of your life, but you weren't. Not when you had just remembered and experienced second hand the emotions of that day. Compared to them, your fear and anger right here, right now, was minimal.

"I suppose it will do… for now" he sighed at last.

So he would want more information later. Of course, he would. He would just keep taking and taking from you until you had nothing left.

Wanting to shift the attention from yourself, you remembered something Ren had said when he yelled at you.

"Who is Kiera?"

He didn't look at you as he hummed, "Hmm?"

He was trying to avoid answering you could tell. Maybe he hadn't meant to say the name? It only made you want to know more. It must have meant something to him, the way he spoke the name, even though he was yelling, it was like his voice caressed it, wrapped around it.

"Kiera. You said that name before. Who are they?" You pressed.

You were still kneeling on the edge of the bed. Your gaze never left his pale face. You hoped he could feel your eyes burning into him.

His response surprised you, you hadn't expected him to answer,

"Kiera is what my Master and I have agreed to call you."

Huh. You weren't sure what answer you were expecting, but that certainly wasn't it. Again, however, annoyance flashed through you at the thought of Ren and the supreme leader talking about you behind your back. You knew it was probably only about strategy and wasn't at all like the teenage girl gossip session you were imagining. Still, the way they came up with a name for you reminded you of the small mean clique of Myri's girls. They had come up with some kind of nickname or code name for you so that they could talk freely about you in open spaces.

You could have laughed at the idea of Ren and the First-Order's Supreme Leader sitting cross legging bitching about you behind your back and giggling when someone walked in the room thinking they were so smart. That no one would crack their code. But you knew it wasn't like that at all. The only reason for military personnel to have code names is if they were trying to hide a plan or a weapon from the enemy. Was your nickname so that the resistance wouldn't know they had kept you? Was it so if Damon was looking for you that he would assume you had died?

"Why? What is wrong with my real name?" the distaste in your voice ran clear but Ren was quick to fix your attitude.

"You should be highly honoured that the Supreme Leader thinks you worthy of a name"

Nothing Ren said ever seemed to make sense. Your nickname wasn't a code but rather a… a what? A gift? An endearment? For the supreme leader to allow you the _honour_ of having a name, granted one he probably chose, that had to mean that you were special? Agh yuck. It sounded so arrogant. Yet you knew it had to be true, you were uniquely special. If you weren't you would have been killed a long time ago. So while a part of you wished to be ordinary so that you could hide in plain sight, be invisible in the crowd of every other normal human in the galaxy, another part of you was so grateful to whatever it was about you that made you so interesting to Ren. Without it, you wouldn't be here.

You were important, surely the supreme leader didn't go around naming every second person he saw in the first order. Kylo had said it was an honour. A small sick part of you was ecstatic with the knowledge that you were _valuable_ to Ren and the supreme leader. You squashed that down real quick.

If you had been given a name, a stranger to this ominous leader then surely Ren had been given one too. You figured if anyone were worthy of a name it would be the Supreme Leader's loyal lap dog.

"Were you worthy of a name then?" you asked.

He glared at you. Of course, he had been, how stupid of you to even ask.

"Why Kiera?" the name wouldn't have been random and you wanted to know what it was about you that made the supreme leader find you _worthy_ of a name. Ren had said that his master thought you had valour. Maybe it had to do with that? With your loyalty or bravery?

"It means 'little dark one' we thought it was… appropriate" he smirked blackly and he made no attempt to hide it. He knew the reaction this would have on you.

Little dark one? That self-serving mother kriffing asshole! So he and his _master_ were getting together to discuss the preposterous idea that you weren't so different from the cloaked bastard who sat in front of you. Why did they care at all? Why was it so important that they convince you that you had a streak of darkness? It infuriated you. You may have done something dark but it wasn't for dark reasons. It was to protect the innocence and virtue of a child. The reasons behind the act weren't evil or malicious, they were good intentions and that meant something.

You hated the attention they were giving you. Why couldn't they just lock you up and forget about you? You didn't want to be a tool, or a pawn or a plaything. Suddenly you found yourself missing the solitude of your room.

"When will a trooper come to take me to my cell?" you snapped.

You had had enough of Ren's games, you wanted to disappear again. Be just another prisoner in a cell. In there you weren't special. You were normal. A number. A nobody.

Here, in Ren's quarters, you were different. You were the prisoner worthy of a name from the supreme leader and interesting enough to be invited inside the infamous Kylo Ren's personal space.

You wanted out and you wanted out now.

"You will be staying here tonight," Ren said firmly.

For some reason, you had felt something like this coming so it didn't catch you off guard completely. You did however have a sinking suspicion that you hoped was wrong.

"Where?"

"Here," he said gesturing to the space next to him.

Your hopes fell. He was planning on have you sleep _with_ him.

A laugh escaped your mouth and you quickly slammed your hands over it to cover the noise. Ren didn't react.

You hadn't meant to laugh, it was just that you hadn't expected Kylo Ren to be so naïve. There was no way you would share a bed with him. You'd rather peel off all your skin and eat it before you climbed in next to him.

"Oh no, no, no. No! That will not be happening" you said in protest.

There is no way you were going to sleep next to him. That placed you in too much of a vulnerable position. And you had never shared a bed with anyone apart from your mother. You didn't want to tarnish that memory of comfort and security by replacing it with one that was full of fear, uncertainty and anxiety.

"You don't have a choice" He replied simply and he relaxed back into the pillows pulling the thick grey blanket up over his hips. He motioned to try place the blanket over you too and so you jumped off the bed and scampered to the middle of the room standing with your arms crossed.

"I will sleep right here," you said defiantly

"You'll freeze" he sounded so causal and he didn't even look at you, he was too busy fluffing his enormous white pillows.

"Then I'll freeze" you sat down in place. As soon as your bum hit the ground you felt the cold seep in through the small material. Kylo's quarters were definitely colder than your cell. This was going to be a long night.

"So be it," he said and he rolled over so his back was to you. As he moved the lights in the room flickered off and you were plunged into the darkness.

You arranged yourself on the hard cold floor in the most comfortable position for sleep. Already your teeth were chattering. Your hair was still damp and it did not help your case at all. Maybe you could sneak into the fresher and take some dry towels to sleep under? No, that would make too much noise and you hated to be caught mid-act.

The room was so quiet. You strained your eyes and ears for any sign of the man across the room from you. This was a very strange situation. Kylo Ren had brought you into his quarters for a sleepover?

It seemed humorous but he never did anything just for the sake of it. Everything he did was done for a reason. Maybe he wasn't as thick as you thought. Sleep for you was always something that brought you a small level of fear.

As a child, you had been told stories of people being taken in their sleep and sold off to faraway planets. As you grew older and lived in Myri's pleasure house you always slept with one eye open. The door to your room didn't lock properly and if a drunk gentleman costumer stumbled his way into your room when you were sleeping…

You were vulnerable when you slept. Not just physically but mentally as well. Your thoughts wandered freely and your dreams often revealed your darkest desires or most terrifying fears. Maybe that was what Ren was attempting to do. If you let your guard down while you were asleep then he could have full uninterrupted access to your _power._

Or maybe that wasn't his play at all. Maybe he thought that if you felt safe enough to sleep in his presence then you will begin to subconsciously trust him. You hated that second idea. He only would have thought of that from your thoughts and memories of your mother. And it would be too easy for you to fall for the guise.

Suddenly, a third option crossed your mind. If you were vulnerable when you slept then he was too. Was this your opportunity? You tried to picture the room you were in. Was there anything you could use as a weapon? How would you do it? Would you kill him or just render him unable to follow you?

The ideas and plans that came into your head flitted back out again before any one thought could take hold. He was too powerful. You had no idea where you were. You were in his territory. It would be foolish to do anything now without any idea how to get off the base. You would have to continue to bide your time until you had an actual plan.

The silence in the room faded as your ears adjusted and you caught hold of the sound of his breathing. It was deep and steady, although every second or third breath it became a little wheezy as if the angle his head was on was obstructing his airway slightly.

You tried to focus on that sound. It reminded you of your mother. If you closed your eyes and imagined hard enough you could pretend you were laying in the tiny straw bed you and your mother shared in the back room of the laundry. The smell of linen and detergent in your nose. Hot beads of sweat making your hair stick to your neck. You pictured every tiny detail of that room. Tried to burn it into the back of your eyelids, forcing yourself to feel as though you were there.

Every time the memory would take on that runaway dream-like state as you verged on the edge of sleep you would be woken by a violent shake as your body shivered.

You stayed like this for hours. The side of your body that was laying on the floor ached at the pressure. Your legs were cramping from holding them so close to your body. Your neck throbbed from not being supported.

All the while Kylo's soft peaceful breathing mocked your stubbornness that left you feeling cold and uncomfortable.

Your eyes searched for him in the dark. You could make out the outline of his face. He was laying on his back, chest rising and falling rhythmically.

He was so human for a monster. It was so easy to forget who you were dealing with when he was like this. If it weren't for the way you instinctively slid yourself further backwards and away from him when he stirred and the way the small movement caused your heart to leap and adrenaline to peak then you probably could have slept peacefully in the same room as him.

Your teeth were verbally chattering uncontrollably now and you could see your breath as you panted quickly. This was not going to work. You would probably get hypothermia if you kept this up much longer. You knew what you had to do and you hated it. Even more so now that you had made a stand to not submit. Giving in now meant you were weak. _But it's not like I have a choice_ you tried to rationalise. It was hypothermia or weakness.

Slowly you pushed yourself off the floor and made your way to the edge of Kylo's bed. You stood there awkwardly. He was in the middle of the bed, eyes closed, one arm was resting over his stomach and the other was under the blanket. You could feel the warmth of his body radiating off his massive frame. What should you do now? You felt rude and out of place just climbing in but you also didn't want to wake him up to ask if you could get in. Not when he looked so relaxed and peaceful.

Suddenly Ren's eyes opened and his brown eyes, black in the dark, bore into you. You were just standing there watching him sleep, like some creep. What would he do? What would he say?

The answer; he did nothing. He took in your shivering body and rolled over so he was facing away from you. He had also cleared what you supposed was your side of the bed. You took this as an invitation.

Quicker than you cared to admit to climbed into the bed and pulled the thick blanket up to your chin. The bed was so comfortable and was already warm.

Instantly your muscles relaxed and you melted into the soft material. You stuck close to the edge of the bed, as far away from Ren's body as you could manage. Even though you were trying to stiffly maintain a distance between your bodies, you were still content. So very content that you sighed loudly.

From behind you, you heard the knight speak,

"Goodnight Kiera."


	5. Humiliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its been a hot minute since I have updated. there are a few reasons for that. First, it took me about 3 rewrites of this chapter before I was happy with publishing it. Second, I have been struggling a lot lately with being stuck in a very strict covid lockdown and so when I was happy with my rewritten chapter plot I had no motivation to actually write it. But I'm all good now and I will continue to update as often as I can. 
> 
> Now for this chapter ***TRIGGER WARNINGS***  
> there is brief mentions of rape in this chapter (its not bad I promise) and also mentions of humiliation from periods. If any of these are triggering for you please don't read. I tried to write this as tastefully as I could and it actually got me a bit emotional so see the end of chapter notes for a little more on that. 
> 
> As always I hope you enjoy xxx

"You beat Lirpioh at poker?" The disbelief was clear in Kylo's voice.

"Well yeah," you giggled "I have a good poker face"

"And what then? Did you take his entire horde? All of it?" He was still watching you, wide-eyed in shock.

"Yes," you shrugged nonchalantly.

You were enjoying this way too much. The poker game with Lirpioh was a big deal, a very big deal. You knew it and he knew it. In fact, it was actually kind of a miracle that you survived that entire ordeal. The Hutt gangsters were not renowned for their integrity.

You had gambled your freedom for Lirpioh's entire credit horde and in hindsight, it was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Even now you couldn't explain what had made you raise the stakes. Lirpioh wasn't expecting you to win since the sly bastard always cheated and so when you played your hand and the table saw you had won, not only had Lirpioh lost his fortune but he was humiliated in front of his friends.

It was the dumbest, most stupid thing you had ever done, but, you'd be lying if you said you hadn't enjoyed the rush it gave you.

The reason you told this story as if it were just another Tuesday was because you loved the way Ren's features contorted as they tried to remain impassive to your stories.

His chin wound wobble as if he was fighting a smile and his eyebrow twitched like he was willing them not to rise even the smallest fraction. It was extremely satisfying.

You hadn't been let out of Ren's quarters for 3 cycles now and as strange as it was, it was now familiar to you.

Kylo was a creature of habit and every cycle followed roughly the same schedule.

You woke from an unusually sound sleep drenched in sweat as Ren's ginormous body invaded your personal space. Kylo would excuse himself to use the fresher which you would also use after he emerged with wet hair and a towel around his waist. After you were washed and dried Kylo would braid your damp hair as you waited for the meal droid to bring breakfast.

Following a very quiet breakfast would come the longest part of your day. Ren would leave to go do whatever it was that he did in his organisation of evil and you would stay behind. All on your lonesome.

During this time you would try to exercise, or just nap. Yesterday you had cleaned up -much to the cleaning droids dismay- but you didn't care, you were so bored. Those hours he was gone were tedious and hard. His room was so cold and there was _nothing_ to do. You held out for midday when Kylo would return for lunch and to meditate with you.

Your meditative sessions with the knight were something you looked forward to since they were no longer silent affairs. You spent more time talking then you did meditating and the crazy thing about that was that it was instigated by Ren. He was asking the one questions and patiently listening to your answers.

He still liked to poke at things about you that were none of his business but for the most part, he was well behaved and stuck to more trivial topics.

You enjoyed talking to Ren like this. You never had someone to share your stories with since Damon knew them all. Now that you had started sharing them you were surprised with just how many you did have.

You really did have an incredible life.

_Did_ being the keyword.

Kylo, while not the most receptive of audiences, still gave you small subtle cues, that he also enjoyed hearing about your close calls and sleazy back-alley trades. Today was no different.

You could hear the way he tried forcing his voice to hide the curiosity in it "So you're a poker wiz?"

"I just got dealt a good hand, was good luck is all" you both knew it wasn't luck but Ren didn't question it further.

You were sitting across from him, both of you had your legs crossed. You were sitting on a black scarf that he had given to you the first time you meditated in his quarters. His floor was freezing and your flimsy jumpsuit wasn't sufficient at keeping the cold from numbing your ass.

Ren was watching you intently. You fiddled with the end of your braids, he had done two today and they sat neatly on either side of your head.

A part of you knew that it probably wasn't smart to be boasting about your criminal ways if the stories involved Damon. Kylo was a hypocrite in the sense that he was totally okay with his First-Order having a blatant disregard for the laws but if anyone else, especially anyone specifically associated with the resistance or sympathetic to their cause, if they broke the law… well, he acted as if they were criminal masterminds out to bring chaos and unrest to anyone they encountered.

It was because of this bias that you were very careful not to mention anything particular about Damon or his role on your little adventures. Ren knew he sympathised with the resistance and you didn't want to give up information that would inspire him to call any of the planetary authorities Damon was wanted with.

You figured it didn't matter what you exposed about yourself, you were safe enough. You were already locked up and you knew that Ren needed you alive and in close proximity. That much was obvious since other than the few hours he was gone every day, he'd scarcely left your side since that first night he brought you to his quarters.

A fact which made a small part of you fizzle with excitement. A part, that through a lot of personal convincing, you assumed belonged to Ren. The dark ribbon that he had so _kindly_ tied to your light.

Even after the past few cycles of long and intense meditative sessions and after Kylo's rather tireless attempts at being a nice person to gain your trust, you still had no idea what it was Ren wanted from you or what he had done that first day.

However, you did know that it had everything to do with that tether between you. He reached for it during your sessions and also while he was out. You knew when he was pulling on the connection because your heart would go tight as if there was a string tied around it and he was tugging on it.

It was so foreign to you in the beginning and now it felt… normal. Like it was always something that you had experienced.

The tugging wasn't particularly unpleasant, though sometimes when he was out of his quarters the line would go so tight it made it hard to breathe. But it never lasted long and as soon as he let go of the connection your breathing returned to normal.

You had been experimenting, or rather Kylo had been experimenting for long enough that you were now starting to recognise different sensations. The tugging was the most apparent and easiest to feel. You always knew when he was pulling on the thread, back when you were in your cell it was the tugging that had woken you up some nights.

So, there was the pulling sensation. There was also the coldness that would often spread in your chest after Kylo had been pulling along the thread for a while. This wasn't as obvious as the tugging. It came on slowly and was very centring. Sometimes it would make you want to jump up and run around the room with unmatched precision and livid motivation. But, mostly it just made you drowsy. Your thoughts often wondered when you got to this point in your meditation session.

Finally, there was the feeling that was the hardest to explain. It was extremely subtle and happened mostly at night when the room was dark and quiet. You could feel Ren. It was so different from the tugging and the coolness. It felt like if you called out to him in your mind then he would answer, as though you could whisper to him along the thread and he would hear.

You wanted to pass this feeling off to the fact that you had been laying next to the sleeping man when you got these sensations, but you knew deep down it wasn't the reason why.

"Kiera?" Ren said using your nickname which as much as you hated its origin, you were starting to like.

"Hmm?" you responded still thinking about the thread

"Did you hear what I just said?" Kylo was looking at you with interest. Damn you hadn't even noticed he had spoken.

"Uhm no sorry"

"What would you like for dinner?"

"I get an option?" that was new, usually Ren ordered and you ate whatever the droid brought, not that you'd had an issue with that. The food the droids brought Kylo was way nicer than the slop you'd been fed in your cell. With Ren, you'd had real vegetables and meats and the food was flavourful. Why was Kylo now offering you a choice in what you ate? You looked at him questioningly.

"You've been very receptive during our sessions, I wanted to reward your good behaviour"

This was a reward? For what?

"I can feel a difference in you, you no longer fear me as you did before" he clarified as he held out a holopad.

He was giving you more freedoms and liberties in exchange for your trust and compliance. It was a smart move and an age-old training tactic you'd seen used on animals. Reward the desirable behaviours and punish the bad.

You would have tried to buck the system, not let him sway you by practically literally dangling the carrot in front of your nose, but you caught sight of the menu on the holopad and your mouth watered.

Taking the device from his outstretched hand a small part of you protested your easy concession. Too often you would go against your natural responses just to appease the man in front of you. Just to avoid conflict and confrontation. It never used to matter who you pissed off. If it didn't feel right you didn't do it, regardless of what was offered to you in return. You were changing in here and you didn't like it. You scrolled through the dozens of options and read the small descriptions under the grainy blue pictures.

"I can pick anything from here?"

He nodded and you went back to studying the menu. There were almost too many options to pick from and the words used to describe the dishes had saliva pooling in your mouth. The tender beef lathered in seasoning sounded nice, the creamy-white pasta also appealed. Steamed, poached, juicy, tangy, spicy, zesty. You had never even heard of some of these words, nevertheless, they all sounded absolutely delicious.

Ren cleared his throat to signal that it was time to make your decision. You said the first thing that came to mind.

"Can I have the chicken?" Ren took the pad from you and pressed a few buttons,

"A droid should arrive in the next hour"

"Thank you Kylo" You looked at him sheepishly through thick lashes.

You had been using his first name for a few days now but it still made you feel all weird. Addressing him by his name was not something that he had requested you do. The morning after your first night in his quarters Kylo continued to use the name 'Kiera' much to your dismay, and so, in a fit of annoyance you snidely said "Well if you get to call me names I don't like then I'm calling you Kylo"

You had only assumed he didn't like people using his first name to address him since you had never heard anyone within the First-Order address him as anything other than Ren or Commander Ren. He had gone to argue against your comment but then he seemed to think better of it and agreed. In the moment it felt like a victory, later that day it felt like you had again walked into a trap, as using his first name would only increase your familiarity to him and therefore your trust in him. However, now, it only felt _awkward._

And awkward it was.

"So… What did you do today?" you rambled to fill the silence.

Kylo had wandered over to his desk and was fiddling around on the holopad again.

"Nothing of importance," he said dismissively.

You knew that tone. He wasn't in a talking mood so you decided to make yourself busy by tying and untying small knots in the tassels from the scarf Kylo had given you to sit on.

You both sat in silence once again, but now you didn't feel the need to fill it with random mumblings. This type of silence was familiar to you. It was something both you and Kylo did together at least once a cycle.

He would sit at his desk and stare at documents and graphs while you lounged around on the floor or the bed just letting your mind wander. For some reason, this wasn't as tedious as when you lounged around doing nothing during the day.

Maybe it was because you weren't alone. During the day cycle, Kylo was gone, off doing important things or destroying villages and such, point was that he was gone, you were alone. Here, now, with him sitting just a little way from you, you weren't alone.

You had spent so much of your life alone, fending for yourself, working tirelessly day and night to get to a point where you wouldn't have to be alone.

Then you met Damon and suddenly you weren't by yourself anymore. You had a family. Someone to love you. Someone to worry about you, to miss you.

Now he is gone and you're alone again, well, you're mostly alone. In your cell, you were isolated, more isolated than you ever had been before. In Kylo's quarters, you were still isolated, but the difference was in the moments that he was there... you weren't alone.

You couldn't explain it. Even when you weren't talking or touching, you knew he was there. You felt him. You... _sensed_ him. You still didn't trust him and he still made your nerves stand on end when you saw his hot temper flare in his eyes. That much hadn't changed. What had changed was that despite that you _liked_ having him around.

You smiled to yourself. It was stupid to let yourself think these things. Stupid and reckless. But you couldn't help it. You liked his company. You liked that you were special to him.

You liked Kylo. The person he was to you when he took that horrible helmet off.

Deep down you knew Ren and Kylo were the same. The masked monster who wiped out your best friends village was the same man with the boyish hair who sat just a few feet away from you. If you let yourself feel the overwhelming, consuming grief that came with acknowledging that fact then you would not survive this.

Hope gave you a reason to fight. Kylo offered you hope. Ren squished it.

So you compartmentalised. Kylo in one box and _Commander Ren_ in another. Separate in your mind but equal in reality.

You rolled out of your cross-legged position and onto your stomach so you could watch Kylo. You needed to gaze upon the face that was both your best hope and worst fear. His utter humanness always took your breath away. Like his scratched up helmet, his face was also flawed. Small freckles were scattered across cheeks like a child had taken a brush of paint and flicked it haphazardly at a blank canvas. When he slept by your side at night you strained your eyes to trace the creases and curves of his face. It was the only time you felt safe to really look at him. It was on your second night in his quarters that you had decided his carless freckles were beautiful. Beautiful and dangerous.

You were all too aware that your new feelings towards Kylo had nothing to do with any _real_ emotions. Psychologically speaking it was perfectly normal that you started feeling like this. You had seen it first hand growing up. Some of the other slaves that had been taken from their families often came to liking and even caring about your Master. You had never understood how any of them could ever come to like the person who had taken them away from everything they'd ever known and forced them into their new, much darker life. Now you could sympathise with them. Kylo had taken you away from everything and everyone you loved. He locked you away and starved you of human contact for weeks. Now, he offered you companionship and you were so desperate for it that you didn't care that he was the reason for your unhappiness in the first place. You liked him because he was your only option. You knew all this and you didn't care. You would do what you had to do in order to survive.

You settled lower on your stomach and began pulling at the tassels again. Every so often you would lift your eyes to gaze at him. His posture was terrible. He slouched in the too-small chair as he poured his attention over the holopad. You would think he was reading the juiciest novel or a trashy tabloid the way he stared at the screen. Rolling your eyes you brought your attention back to the weaving knots of the scarf tassels.

Suddenly you felt an all too familiar sensation in your underwear that tore your attention away from your work.

Oh please maker no.

You got up from the floor and padded your way towards the fresher.

"Where are you off to?" Kylo questioned

"The lavatory. Is that okay?" You didn't wait for an answer as you continued to the bathroom. When you needed to use the loo was none of his business the nosy prick. Closing the door behind you, you went to the toilet, quickly shimmied out of your jumpsuit and looked down.

_Blood._

Oh lovely that is just PERFECT. You muttered a string of curse words under your breath. This was so humiliating, you briefly found yourself missing that small silver medical droid that had poked and prodded at you for the first few weeks in your cell. You had a full medical check-up every week while you were undergoing bacta treatments so it must have just known your cycle and brought you supplies when you needed it. That's what you assumed happened anyway, menstrual cloths just seemed to appear with your weekly change of clothes.

You frantically looked around the room for anything you could use as a cloth. Anything so that you wouldn't have to walk out of this room, look one of the most powerful men in the galaxy in the eye, tell him you were on your _period_ and ask for his help to get the necessary supplies _._

This whole situation made you livid. You hated, hated, _hated_ having to rely on other people. People had proven time and time again to be unreliable. The only person who had never let you down was yourself and so from a young age, you had promised yourself that you would never put yourself in a position where you had to rely on someone else. For anything. You didn't even rely on Damon, not really. You always made sure you had enough credits saved so that you could manage on your own, should he decide he no longer wanted you working with him. You always had a backup plan. Always.

You had hated being locked up and forced to rely on the order for medical treatment and meals. But at least you had the dignity of never actually _ask_ for those things. You were lucky they had delivered on that account because you wouldn't have asked if they weren't given to you. You would have just let yourself wither away.

But this. This would be the most degrading thing you have ever done, and that is saying a lot considering you once lived off vermin and slept in a gutter.

It wasn't that you were ashamed of your cycle, the opposite actually, it was a time that you felt most in tune with your body and with nature. It was natural and a physical representation of your good health. What caused your embarrassment was the fact that you had never before not been able to 'handle' this on your own. You had always had access to hygiene products and you had taken that for granted.

Now here you were, completely at the mercy of someone else. It made you so angry that your eyes watered. You didn't want to have to ask him for this because you shouldn't have to. You had a right to access these products and asking for them would make it seem like you were seeking a favour. Asking this would just confirm that you weren't an independent person. You had no control over your life. Your fate was in the hands of the First-Order. Of Kylo.

As much as you hated the whole situation you didn't have much of a choice. You wouldn't stay in your soiled clothes because you deserved clean ones. If you wanted clean ones then you would have to get them from Kylo.

Cleaning yourself up as best you could you walked over to the mirror to prepare yourself for what you were about to do. Turning on the tap you washed your hands and splashed your face with the cold water.

Okay, here we go. Pushing away from the washer, you took a deep breath and headed back out into the common area.

Kylo was still hunched over in his desk chair. He didn't look up when he heard you.

You felt your cheeks heat up. You could not believe this was happening. It took all of your strength to not crawl into a ball and melt into the floor.

"Kylo?" your voice was fairly even.

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering if I could get some new clothes"

That got his attention. He glanced up at you and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You looked away from his gaze and crossed your arms over yourself.

"And uh… and some uh" _Just spit it out! "_ Some underwear. Please."

He stood up from his desk and strode towards you. You still couldn't meet his stare. He stopped right in front of you leaving almost no space between your bodies. His huge frame loomed over you.

"Please" you whispered.

_Please don't make me explain it, please just do this for me. Please._

He said nothing, he did nothing, he just stood over you gaping down, waiting for you to meet his eyes.

"Please" you whispered again

"Why?" he snapped.

The aggression in his voice made you flinch.

"I started my monthly cycle. I don't have… anything." the words were barely audible but you could tell he had heard them. He took a few steps back and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You didn't know how he would react to this declaration. Would he be mad? Would he banish you back to your cell?

Still looking at the floor, shifting your weight from foot to foot, you hoped that he would understand what you were silently asking him. _Please help me Kylo._

He exhaled loudly before finally saying, "Go use the fresher and clean up. I will get a service droid to bring something for you."

 _Thank you._ You didn't wait for any other instructions as you scurried to the bathroom.

It didn't take long for you to strip out of your clothes, unwrap your bindings and step into the warm fresher. You assumed that later tonight Kylo would want to pull out the two braids that he had placed on the sides of your head, so you tried to keep your hair dry.

That was another part of your daily routine you had come to enjoy. His skilful fingers brushing against the back of your neck and scalp as he twisted and knotted your hair into neat little braids. He did this while your hair was still damp so when he pulled them out later that night your hair would cascade down your shoulders in delicate curls.

The hot water hammered down on your back, washing away your embarrassment. At least Kylo had understood without you having to explain yourself too much. Your legs were starting to ache from standing still so you slid down to the floor with your back against the cold fresher wall.

You watched as the water rolled off your body, onto the grey tiled floor and then swirled down the drain with a faint gurgle. Small flecks of blood would sometimes be washed away with the water and it reminded you of the day you bled for the first time.

Your mother had hugged you and smiled as she told you that you were now a woman. She showed you how to use a cloth and how often you should change it. You could tell was trying to be supportive and positive but the worry in her eyes was clear to see.

You were a woman now and it wouldn't be long before others also noticed the changes your body was going through. Because of your position you were particularly at risk for unwanted advances. You were even more at risk of being reprimanded for saying no. Your mother knew this, that was how you came to be conceived.

She never made you feel unwanted or unloved for even a second. While she never specifically admitted that you were the product of rape it wasn't hard for you to put two and two together. Your mother never spoke of your father. Whenever you asked her about him she would quickly change the subject.

As a child, you weren't able to recognise that she was avoiding the topic, but as you grew up and learnt your place in the world is wasn't hard to guess what events that had led to your birth. You didn't know who your father was and when you were young that bothered you. All the characters in the bedtime stories your mother read to you had both a mother and a father.

You wanted that too. Probably out seeking the protection and stability a father was supposed to offer his daughter. It was only natural that you desired it. Every child wants to be loved unconditionally.

When you were sold off at 15 you had been forced to leave your mother. You never got the chance to tell her you loved her. To thank her for everything she had ever done for you. To hold her and squeeze her one last time.

After being separated these past 4 years you had come to see how foolish you were for feeling incomplete without a father figure. Your mother was the strongest person you knew and it killed you to know she never got to hear you tell her how grateful you were for everything she did for you.

A small knock at the chrome door brought your attention back to the present. You were sitting on Kylo's fresher floor with your knees pulled up to your chest. Another knock sounded at the door, this time it was louder.

"Kiera?" Kylo's voice called from the other side.

Your heart skipped a beat when you realised he wanted to come into the room. Quickly, you pulled yourself up from the floor and turned so your back was to the door. It was a frail attempt at concealing your modesty.

"Come in"

You turned your head slightly so you could see out of your peripheral but so the front of your body was facing away from Kylo. The door only opened halfway. The glass around the fresher was foggy from the steam so you couldn't see properly but you could tell when he entered the room. A big black frame stuck out against the white wall tiles. He walked over to the washer and left what you hoped was your change of clothes.

When he turned to leave you could make out his pale face in the curtain of dark hair and robes. Your heart pounded in your chest and you twisted your body to hide your nakedness. You didn't think he was looking but you honestly couldn't tell through the misty and droplet covered glass.

Only after he had left the room and the door shut behind him did you un-tense your muscles and get out of the fresher. The white towel you had placed on the warming rack was soft and large and cocooned your body like a hug.

You dried yourself and made your way over to the washer counter where Kylo had left a small pile of black linen. Holding the material out it unfolded itself and it fell strangely. This wasn't a jumpsuit.

Looking at it more closely you realised it was one of Kylo's black pullovers. Without thinking you grasped the soft shirt and held it up to your face. His now-familiar scent filled your nose. Your eyes closed of their own accord and you sighed.

Almost as quickly as the weird urge to start sniffing his clothes came on, you snapped out of your insanity and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your pupils had dilated so much you could barely see your irises.

Shaking your head you tried to clear your thoughts so you could change in peace.

You placed your dirty clothes into the laundry chute and after a moment of hesitation, you also threw your breast bindings in after them. You hadn't washed them since they appeared mysteriously on the end of your bed.

Taking one last look at yourself you went to face Kylo.

The sound of your bare feet pattering on the cool floor sounded so loud in his silent quarters but Kylo didn't face you. He was still pouring over the holopad only now instead of hunching over it at his desk, he was stretched out over his bed. The room was dark except for the small light strip that ran on the underside of the long shelf in the wall behind the bed. It was the only subtle lighting in his quarters, everything else was the clinical florescent white that had burned non-stop in your cell.

You leaned innocently against the door frame and watched the huge man as he lay diagonally across the mattress, his feet hanging off the end. His brows were pulled together and his eyes flickered from side to side as he read the report in front of him. The gentle blue glow from the holopad was illuminating his face better than the strip lighting. Somehow it darkened his hair and made his features hauntingly pale.

You cleared your throat before speaking, it seemed polite to announce your presence before you spoke out of the darkness

"Thank you"

His eyes fell to you and the look flashed that flashed in them made your heart race, hands shake and breath quicken and you suddenly were very aware of how much skin you were showing. The shirt he had given you was thick and warm but was only just long enough to fall over your ass.

But it didn't matter how much clothing you were wearing, you bet even if you were covered head to toe, you would still be able to feel it as his eyes left hotlines from where his gaze ran along your body. It felt as if it were his fingers running up your legs and over the shirt that hung loosely over your curves before settling on your face. You swallowed loudly.

"You…" He started to speak in a tone so low it almost didn't sound like him. But then closed his eyes and when he opened them again all trace of the look he just had was gone.

When he spoke again his voice was back to its normal pitch and full of authority that demanded respect, "What have you been supplied with for your cycle since you arrived on the base?"

He may have been quick to snap out of whatever haze had just fallen over the two of you, but you weren't so fast. It took a few moments for you to gather your thoughts.

"Uhm the medical droid that gave me bacta treatments usually brought things, I guess it knew when I needed them since it did a full body check up on me almost every day"

He nodded, "What did the droid bring you?"

Your nose crinkled. That was none of his business, but you answered anyway. By now you had learned that Kylo Ren held the opinion that everything was his business. He would get his answer one way or the other so giving in was the easier option otherwise you'd be subjected to an emotional attack or worse, an invasion on your thoughts.

"Cloth"

"Is that a satisfactory product?"

"Uhm" you hesitated, unsure why he would bother asking this.

"Yes?" your answer sounded more like a question. What did he want you to say? _Oh yes, they're marvellous thank you for these fancy, amazing, top of the range menstrual products! I never bled on a cloth of such high quality as a slave! How lucky am I?_

He considered his reply for a moment, "Were you on oral suppressants before you came here?" His tone was almost accusatory and it rubbed you all the wrong ways.

Your eyes narrowed. Now, this _really_ was none of his business.

"No" you snapped back angrily. Were you on birth control before you came here? HA, you wish. It made you fume knowing that Kylo could just get whatever information about you he wanted. No other _normal_ person would expect that a strange girl would readily give up her medical history just because they wanted to know.

Taking in your response, however, Kylo's face changed suddenly. He shook his head ever so slightly and blinked several times "Uh" he muttered "Uhm right. Okay then." He tore his eyes from you and went back to the holopad.

You should have let it go. You should have just taken a deep breath and moved on. But you didn't. Of course, you didn't, you were your own worst enemy.

"Why are you asking me this?" you sighed

His jaw tightened.

"I wanted to make sure you were comfortable" his voice sounded strained.

"Okay, well I am. I'm very comfy thank you. Can we not talk about this again? Ever. Please."

He nodded and seemed as eager as you were for a change of subject. You both collectively sighed quietly in relief.

The rest of the evening went by without incident. The service droid arrived with your chicken dinner and raspberry chocolate dessert, another treat Kylo threw in to 'reward _'_ your _good_ behaviour.

You ate in silence and actively avoided eye contact.

You praised yourself internally that you kept your hair dry in the fresher because after Kylo had your plates cleared he pulled you onto the floor by his feet and he began to untie the braids in your hair.

He ran his fingers through the curls that bounced over your shoulders. His touch was feather-light against your head and neck. Sometimes his fingers would catch on a small knot in your hair and he'd softly try to untangle it without hurting you.

It was a very tender moment of your nightly routine and it often lulled you into a very drowsy state.

After a few minutes of running his fingers through your hair, he reached around and gripped your chin, gently tilting your head so you were facing him. He took in your appearance in briefly, looking everywhere but your eyes.

Seeming pleased with his work he made a satisfied 'hmmph' and went to arrange himself in bed.

By now you'd gotten over your initial squeamishness so you climbed up off the floor and slid comfortably into the bed next to Kylo.

You wiggled under the blankets, pulling them up just under your shoulders.

Wearing Kylo's pullover the bare skin of your legs was able to feel the material of the bed linen for the first time. It was extremely soft and smooth. The quality of his linen shouldn't have come to you as a surprise he was an authority figure of the biggest independent order in the galaxy.

You were on your back facing the ceiling when you voiced a question that had been puzzling you for the past few cycles.

"Why do you do that?"

He glanced at you then rolled onto his side so he was facing away from you. The lights went out.

"Do what?" His gruff voice came from the darkness

"Take my braids out like that"

"Would you rather sleep in them?" He responded curtly

"No, no, it's more comfortable having my hair out. I just wondered if there was a reason."

"Do I have to have one?" He still sounded angry

"I suppose not"

Kylo didn't say anything else. The room was quiet, dark and cold. If it weren't for Kylo's gigantic frame radiating a constant stream of body heat you were sure you'd freeze, even with the fancy blankets and sheets.

Kylo was almost too warm. He moved towards you unconsciously in his sleep, his body obviously gravitating towards the source of warmth. It was nice in a way, you recognised that even the scary Kylo Ren wasn't above his basic human instincts. In another way, it was very annoying.

When you woke up you would almost certainly be drenched in sweat as your small body overheated by being practically smooshed against him. It was moments like that that made you grateful for the chilled air that hung in his quarters. If you stuck a leg or arm out of the blanket then you were able to moderate your temperature a whole lot better.

You were still and silent for a long time, thinking about a lot of things. Kylo's breathing had slowed and it's rhythmic sound seemed to hypnotise you into sleep.

It's a strange thing. You could never seem to remember falling asleep. You knew you had fallen asleep once waking up. But you never could consciously make yourself aware that you were sleeping or dreaming.

You had heard people talk about lucid dreaming and a part of you had always been curious to see if you could ever have that kind of control over your subconscious. To be conscious of your subconscious.

But you never had such luck. You never learnt to lucid dream and so the dream you were having now felt so real. Only upon waking up would you realise what you were experiencing wasn't real.

But you wouldn't wake for a few hours yet. So for the time being you were stuck in your mind standing in the meadow of your childhood on Naboo.

You were watching as a beautiful glittery, golden light encompassed everything you saw. It touched everything, it even moved through certain things. The trees, the flowers, you. The light went through your hands and left a feeling of warmth and peace behind. You swore that if you focused hard enough you would be able to feel the light pulse with the life of the objects it passed through.

It didn't move through everything though. The large mossy boulders that scattered the river nearby were only wrapped in the light. It moved over and around them rather than through them, yet you still felt as though you could feel them. The texture. The coolness of the stone, their heaviness and solidness.

The scene was perfect… until it wasn't.

A dark figure emerged from the edge of the clearing and with them, they brought a cloud of coldness and darkness.

The light tried so desperately to hold on but the thickness of the darkness overpowered it. Flowers shrivelled up and turned grey. The grass wilted and turned a similar colour. The large tree in the centre of the field began losing its leaves.

It was heartbreaking.

You tried to stop the darkness, you ran to it and stood in its way, holding your hands out in front of you pushing it back.

The figure was walking slowly towards you, un-phased by your attempts to get rid of it.

You were running around the clearing thinking, willing and hoping with everything you had picturing more light. Anything to stop the dark mist.

Helplessly you watched the darkness swallow everything the light had touched. It crept closer and closer to you, enclosing you inside a shrinking circle of golden light.

You fell to your knees and grasped the last surviving purple flower in your hands. You cradled it safely in the light that radiated out of your palms. You tried to close yourself around the flower, to shield it from being destroyed like everything else in the meadow.

But your action was futile. The dark mist seeped in between the gaps of your fingers. You watched horrified as the light bled out of the delicate purple petals and a chalky blackness replaced its colourful vibrance.

You stood up from your crouching position to face the black figure just a small distance away from you.

"Why?!" You cried out

The figure was faceless but you could tell your reaction had pleased them.

You looked down at the fragile flower. It had been so beautiful. So small, breakable and soft. Before the light had moved through it and you could feel the flower pulse with life.

Now it was dark and grey. It was still small and still looked beautiful in a haunting way. It definitely looked breakable too. Was it still soft or had the darkness made it hard like a stone?

Carefully you stroked your finger along the edge of a petal. The petal you had touched instantly melted away into ash. You pulled your finger away quickly but it was too late. The flower collapsed in on itself until it was just a small pile of ash in your palm.

Looking up you took in the field you were stranded in. It looked like a fire had torn through. The sky was grey, the tree trunk was ebony black and as the wind began to pick up the chalky flowers each tuned to dust and were blown away with the breeze.

The figure was staring at you, their cloak billowing behind them in the wind.

The last thing you remember hearing was a low mechanical laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I hope you liked hehe 
> 
> When I was writing the part where Kiera was embarrassed about her period and having to ask Kylo to get her supplies it made me really upset to put myself in that mindset and it upset me more to know that some women do feel like this. There are people out there who don't have the means to access proper hygiene products. I don't wanna be all weird about it but if it resonated with you then I recommend checking out some websites that are about ending period poverty. In Australia, I know there is a website called share the dignity so yeah if it hit the feels with you then go check them out they're a great organisation. Okay yeah enough from me hope it was good and not too awks xxxx 
> 
> Thank you to the people who have left Kudos, who have commented and bookmarked/subscribed. It really means a lot to me and gives me the encouragement to keep writing this :)


	6. The Arrogant Red Head

"Where are you taking me?" you asked the Stormtrooper who had you roughly by the crook of your right arm.

The trooper didn't acknowledge that you had even spoken. You tried a different question.

"Why are you taking me out of Ren's quarters?" you asked the other trooper who had your left arm tightly in his gloved grasp.

The second trooper didn't respond either. No surprise there.

This wasn't fair, you were practically being dragged through the halls of the base with next to no clothes on and you weren't told why you had been taken from Kylo's quarters.

"Does Ren know you have removed me? I don't think he would be too happy to learn you had touched something that belongs to him." Internally you cringed at your choice of words.

You would be dammed if you ever belonged to that monster, but for now, if it meant that you got some kriffing answers then you would spout whatever bullshit you needed to.

"Commander Ren instructed us to remove you from his quarters and return you to your cell," the trooper on your right said.

Your heart sunk. Well, that's what you get for being arrogant. You thought you were special, that Kylo wanted you around. You had mistaken your own emotions for his. You were the one that wanted his company. You were the one that had told yourself you were special, that you were unique and valuable to him. And that was only to make yourself feel better. You had forced yourself to think of him having real human emotions because the thought of him softly braiding your hair with the same hands that killed your best friends entire family made the floor sway under your feet.

Kylo never once said he liked your company or that he needed you nearby. That was all things you had convinced yourself of, and now, you would suffer for it. Not that you had expected anything else. You lied to yourself as a coping mechanism. Kylo had never misled you, he had told you from the very beginning that the only reason he kept you around was because he wanted something from you.

So, upset as you are right now you only have yourself to blame. Yet again. You really had the worst sense of self-preservation. Every single emotional trust earning trap Kylo had set, you had walked into. What's worse? You were completely aware you were setting yourself up for manipulation and disappointment, and you still jumped in.

If you had stayed focused and not let your head get clouded by his humanness then you wouldn't be hurting like you were now. Kylo had offered you a false life where he acted as some sick version of a friend to you and then he took it away. It was cruel but not surprising. It only hurt as much as it did because you had deluded yourself into thinking he was something, someone that he wasn't. Your anxiety wouldn't be hitting you as hard if you had just stayed scared and angry at him rather than stupidly let yourself get comfortable. Ren was the enemy. Ren was a murder. Ren only cared about himself. everything he had done for you, with you, was all for his benefit. Now he was having you exiled back to your cell.

Was he done with you? Had he gotten the power he wanted? Would he keep you in that god awful cell until you rotted? Or, would he have you killed, disposed of?

This morning had been like any other. There had been no reason for you to suspect he had finally gained whatever it was that he wanted from you. But you reminded yourself that he was very good at lying to you. He was also extremely good at manipulating you.

I mean he had been able to persuade you to temporarily forget all the evil things he had done. He had actually managed to get you to like him! That thought made your muscles clench. You remembered the way he had so gently pulled his fingers through your hair last night. They were so light against your skin that they sent goosebumps along your neck and made the hair on your arms raise. His soft voice had politely enquired about your past and his bright eyes had listened to your responses intently. Those same hands had squeezed the life out of hundreds of people.

That deep voice was the same voice that had spoken through the masks moderator and ordered the death and destruction of thousands of innocent victims. he was responsible for the annihilate of an entire religion and you had let him touch you. You were going to be sick.

You had thought things were going well. Kylo had helped you last night, he had gotten you menstrual cloths. He let you pick dinner. He had run his fingers through your hair.... he had stroked your back soothingly when you awoke abruptly in the middle of the night cycle from a bad dream.

You seemed to be getting along, bonding. But then about an hour after Kylo left his quarters this morning the door opened and two troopers stepped into the room.

At first, your heart leapt because you thought Kylo had come back early, but upon seeing the white armour your gut churned anxiously.

You had reached the door to your cell and the trooper threw you inside. You landed painfully on your knees, the caps audibly hitting the hard floor. Hissing you grasped them, trying to rub away the ache.

What had changed? Why were you sent back here? Had you done something wrong?

You searched through your memories of your last moments with Kylo. He was distant, but he was always somewhat distant. He never said much, he mostly listened and a lot of his communication to you was non-verbal body gestures. Before he left today he had given you another pullover of his to wear, you still had it on. You had thanked him and he had nodded looking into your eyes before he put his mask on and left. It all seemed pretty normal. He didn't seem angry or upset.

Maybe nothing was wrong. Maybe he just wanted his own space back and so he had you brought to your cell. That had to be it. You guessed he spent a lot of time on his own. He certainly seemed like a lone wolf. Maybe he just needed to be alone again.

You forced yourself to slow your breathing down as you began pacing around the small floor space. Your freshly bruised knees were protesting but you didn't care. Walking helped you think.

All this anxiety is for nothing. Things would be fine. Kylo would just come here for your meditative sessions instead. At least you had a bed to yourself now, you wouldn't wake up squished under his heavy frame anymore. So that was good, right?

This is okay. You will be okay, everything is okay.

It didn't matter how many times you repeated those words in your mind, a small voice in the back of your head was yelling that something was wrong and that was enough to have your stomach in knots.

You continued to pace around the room. For a little while, you jumped on the foam mattress from the cot in the corner of the cell. It was thin and didn't help with the jumping so much but it gave you something else to do other than pacing.

The reason for your constant movement was two-fold, first, you needed to move to distract yourself, and second, it kept your legs warm. Your cell was cold and the pullover Kylo had given you, while thick and warm for your arms and abdomen, offered no warmth for your legs or bare feet. Absentmindedly you wished for a pair of socks.

After you began jumping on the mattress for the second time a familiar tugging pulled at your chest. You stopped your bouncing standing perfectly still. The pulling sensation was there! You hadn't imagined it. You revealed in the feeling. He wasn't done with you, he was reaching for your connection.

The tugging came on so quickly it caused your breath to get caught in your throat. The tugging got tighter. Again your breath got caught. You brought your hand to your chest and massaged over your ribs. _Ouch. Slow down Kylo._

This had happened a few times in Kylo's quarters. You sat down and continued to rub small circles over your chest. It would pass soon. The connection would get tight and then snap. You just had to wait for Kylo to let go.

_Tug._

The thread became tighter.

_Tug. Tug._

You tried to inhale but your lungs wouldn't work. You felt winded. You tried sucking in and could hear your lungs gasp in response. No air was coming in no matter how hard you sucked in.

_Tug._

You sucked in again but it made no difference. It didn't matter how many times you tried dragging air into your lungs you felt no relief.

You started to panic now.

_Tug._

The thread got tighter.

_Gasp._

You tried calling out to Kylo, begging him to stop.

_Stop Kylo! Please stop! I can't breathe! Stop!_

The line got tighter still.

_Tug. Gasp. Tug._

You felt your heart contract.

Suddenly you could feel every single beat of it. Every thump sent a shock through your entire body as your heart tried to work against the tightness of the thread wrapped around it.

Your vision was blurring. Your body was still trying to get air into your lungs and the pathetic weak sounds of your gasps sent chills down your spine. Your heartbeat was getting weaker but you still felt each and every beat until your eyes closed and you slipped into calming darkness.

_"Ah, my young apprentice" Master Snoke's voice appraised Kylo Ren as he walked into the large room._

_"How is your little_ project _coming along?"_

_Kylo knew his Master was referring to the girl he'd been keeping in his quarters for the past few cycles._

_"Have you made further progress?" he continued to probe the silent knight._

_Kylo had made some progress, it just wasn't the kind of progress his master was referring to. The huge hologram of the supreme leader was looming over Kylo's comparatively small figure. Snoke was the only person more intimidating than Ren._

_"She is no longer fighting me" Ren offered._

_He knew that wasn't what Snoke was after but he said it anyway. He wasn't sure why he was delaying telling the whole truth. If his master wasn't already completely aware of everything that had transpired over the past days he would surely find out in the next few minutes._

_"Good, that is good." He mocked with fake praise. Kylo could hear the underlying anger in the Leader's tone. He knew Kylo was playing games and he wasn't pleased with the knight's attempt at hiding things from him._

_"Is there something else you wish to share with me? I can sense you're holding something back"_

_Ren reached up and unclasped his helmet. He hoped the action would symbolise his submission to the Leader and would help ease the displeasure his master felt towards him._

_Sighing Kylo blurted out the thing that had been plaguing his mind all week._

_"I cannot grasp her force signature strongly enough to forge a connection unless I am close to her. She isn't fighting me so I don't understand why I cannot maintain the bond at a distance!" The words were rushed and just speaking them aloud brought a renewed sense of frustration and shame to him._

_You were a nobody. You had no power. You weren't even aware of your abilities in the force. Who were you to resist him? He had hoped that maybe it was a defence mechanism you didn't know you had. Something that could be fixed by making you trust him so you felt no need to defend yourself._

_He knew that the time spent in his quarters had done exactly what he wanted. You had dropped your guard around him. He could tell when he dropped the shield he maintained in his head all day and entered your mind as you slept, your thoughts about him continually became more positive. You were enjoying his company and liked having him around._

_So why couldn't he syphon your abilities from a distance? He knew your signature as well as his own or his master's by now. He could pick it out of a line up with his eyes closed._

_He could syphon your force so easily when sitting across from you. Sometimes your signature would just gravitate towards his without his probing._

_So why wasn't it working at a distance?_

_He could find it at a distance and he could reach for it but he couldn't hold onto it for long. And the tighter he held on the harder it was to breathe. He had to let go as it caused his body to pant and his muscles tense in a painful way._

_His master must have been following his thoughts as the large hologram leader spoke again_

_"You are struggling because you are weak. Strains on the physical body are lessened through channelling your passionate emotions. Use your anger and frustration to maintain the connection."_

_It wasn't anything he hadn't heard before, it just offered little to the knight. He was human and in the end, his basic human instincts to shy away from anything that caused him pain overruled any desire the Supreme Leader or he himself had for harnessing your abilities. Nevertheless, the ever good and humble apprentice said,_

_"I will try master"_

_The hologram glared at Ren's answer, "You_ will _or you will kill her yourself." Kylo looked up into the blue glitchy image of his master. Kill the girl?_

_"If you're too weak to use her for our intended purpose then there is no use keeping her around." The Supreme Leader's voice boomed_

_"Yes, Master" Ren answered quickly._

_He wanted to get out of the room so he felt free enough to think about what the Snoke had just said._ Kill the girl. _Could he do that?_

_He hadn't been able to kill you when he strangled you because as your fear and pain increased, it beat down the blocks he placed in his mind to keep your thoughts out. Could he kill you knowing he wouldn't just sense your life force leaving your body, but he would also experience all the emotions you felt in your final moments?_

_"You have 2 cycles to decide your next course of action. Do not fail me, Kylo Ren." The hologram faded away and the knight turned on his heel storming out the door._

_He knew something like this was bound to happen eventually but now that it had been voiced Kylo found that it didn't sit well with him. During the sessions, he sat with you and syphoned your power he was high on the amount of power that he could feel flowing between the two of you._

_It was almost physically tactile. It caused the air around him to vibrate. He knew the potential power you presented to him was something he would never be able to acquire on his own. No amount of training, Jedi or Sith, could compare to the power he held in his palms when he tethered himself to your force signature._

_The idea of killing you just wasn't fathomable because your death would be such a waste. He needed you alive so he could use your power. Your raw, untamed power. The thought of killing you and experiencing your death second hand also wasn't something he wanted to go through. Feeling the life force fade from his normal victims took him years to ignore and be unaffected by. Actually feeling the pain and fear that came with knowing you were going to die would probably deeply affect the small humanity left inside him. He had worked so hard at suppressing that part that he wanted to avoid anything that may cause it to resurge again. The pull to the light of the force was a battle he fought every day. No need to make it harder on himself._

_So your death wasn't an option. He would still get to use your force energy and he wouldn't have to navigate the emotions that he would feel by your demise. That only left overcoming his physical reactions to using your bond._

_Kylo was storming down the winding metallic halls of the Star Killer Base heading unconsciously back to his quarters. Back to you. Standing outside the door to his room he held his hand out. He felt you in there. Your thoughts were happy, content. Your force signature was already reaching for his. It was so easy to get a hold on your energy here, but with every step, he took away from you, the harder it would be to maintain that grip. It was infuriatingly confusing! Why couldn't he make it work?_

_He was about to open the door when his Master's words drifted back into his mind. He_ was _weak. He was too distracted by your presence. He'd spent too much time trying to solidify your trust in him that he had forgotten his initial mission. Learn how to syphon your energy from a distance. His palms began sweating on the inside his leather gloves and his fingers started to twitch towards the lightsaber that was attached to his belt._

_He was foolish to have brought you to his master's attention. If he had just disposed of you like he had so many others then he wouldn't be in this position. One where he had to suffer great physical pain all because he believed your death to be wasteful. That first day in the interrogation chamber he had inexplicably been drawn to your force energy and your strange ability to resist his mind probes. In a moment of weakness, he reached for your signature, just to see if he could. Then something strange had happened, your signature and his own became tethered and immediately he buzzed with a new power that was a product of the two energies mixing._

_If he hadn't reached for you that day, if he hadn't tasted that power, he wouldn't have to push himself in order to prove your worth and worse, his own._

_You were the reason he was suffering so. You, a useless, weak, good for nothing slave girl. He was to endure pain to prove your worth to the Supreme Leader and you would just sit there in his bedsheets twiddling your thumbs. He was confused, angry and confused. How could you one minute make him pulse with incredible power but also put him in a position where he felt so completely power-less the next?_

_He clenched his jaw beneath the mask. The more he thought of you, oblivious to his turmoil, laying around in his personal space, the tenser his muscles became. He would not fail his master, and a stupid, ignorant girl would not best him. He would find a way to make the siphon happen at a distance. He would find a way and use it to prove to his master that your power meant you were more valuable alive than dead. He would do it, no matter what pain he had to endure. He wasn't weak. He was on the brink of unimaginable power and he wasn't about to let that opportunity go quietly._

_Marching away from the door to his quarters he headed to the only place he knew he could take out his anger without pissing of Hux. As he walked he clenched and unclenched his fists. He was picturing your innocent eyes staring unknowingly into his. It made his teeth grind together. How could someone so… so stupid and ignorant challenge him?_

_He didn't want to see you again, not feeling like this. One wrong move by you and he'd have you in a force choke and he'd worked so hard to ensure you had dropped your_ defences.

_On his way to his private training room, he passed two of Hux's troopers. He didn't stop as he barked orders at them._

_"Head to my quarters and escort the prisoner inside back to her original cell"_

_"Yes Commander," they said in unison._

_He didn't look back to see if they would comply. He knew they would. They would be too afraid not to._

_Using the force he slammed the door to the training room open, three of his knights were already inside kneeling facing the door, they had sensed his seething rage and knew he would seek them out._

_Once inside the room, Kylo withdrew his lightsaber and it ignited in his hand immediately. The familiar weight and gentle vibration from the hilt centred him as he focused his anger on the 3 of his knights who rose to meet him._

_Taking out their own weapons they faced their Master, fanning out in a large circle with Kylo in the centre, each with their eyes fixated on the crackling red blade._

_This was the only place he could physically take out his anger without being subjected to one of Hux's ridiculous lectures on not destroying First-Order property. Normally Ren didn't give two Kriffs about what Hux wanted but lately, he'd been avoiding pissing him off._

_Hux had his own opinions on the girl and he was not shy about voicing them, especially now that Kylo was at an impasse in progressing to the next stage of the Supreme Leader's plans with the girl._

_So Ren opted to take his rage out with his knights rather than destroy a control centre and have to listen to Hux complain about the damaged panels and then pick at his failure with the girl._

_After a slight nod of approval from Ren the first of his knights, Vicrul, stepped into the ring, swinging his large silver blade at Kylo. Ren brought his saber up and blocked the assault with ease._

_"Again!" he yelled_

_Vicrul lunged a second time spinning around and aiming for Kylo's legs. Ren avoided the blade, side-stepping from the swing. He didn't give his knight time to regroup as he advanced pelting the man again and again with his saber. Vicrul reeled backwards and feebly tried to fend off Kylo._

_He was tiring and Ren knew it, he would have to back off soon or he might actually injure the knight._

_Kylo kicked at his opponent, his foot making contact with Vicrul's chest and propelling him backward. He stumbled to his feet preparing himself to come at Ren again. Kylo shot his hand out and held Vicrul in a force hold before he could advance. Using the mind link between himself and his knights, Ren demanded they all step forward to challenge him._

_Usher and Kuruk fanned out raising their weapons, enclosing Ren inside a smaller circle. After twirling his red blade a few times Kylo let Vicrul out of the hold and took a defensive pose. Usher was the first to move, charging at Ren's back._

_Sensing the impending attack Ren turned around and simply used his force abilities to push the man away into the furthest wall._

_With his attention on Usher, Kuruk and Vicrul saw an opening, moving towards their master from the left and right. Ren fought them both off using a mix of skilful swings of his saber and close contact fighting._

_Kylo's rage was still bubbling just under the surface. He pictured your face in his mind as he let out an inhuman growl and swung his saber viscously at one of his knights. It struck him in the arm and he retreated immediately, his hand moving protectively over the new wound._

_All 4 of the men inside the room had their attention diverted when the door to the training room hissed open and the final two knights of Ren entered. They went to take a spectators position by the wall but Kylo motioned for them to join the brawl._

_He could sense all of his knights hesitation in the bond, five on one was a lot, even for Kylo. The knights were highly trained._

_"Do not question my orders!" he roared "COME!"_

_His knights obeyed, assuming offensive positions surrounding Ren. This was as good a time as any. Kylo closed his eyes. He pictured you, he pictured Snoke, he pictured Hux's smug face if he heard you had failed. His anger grew. He grasped his saber in his non-dominant left hand for a moment, clenching and unclenching his right hand as he breathed deeply and reached out for your force signature._

_It was there, bright and warm in the expansive darkness. He leaned for it and grasped the very end of it. It was just a whisper but he could already feel his muscles getting stronger, his reflexes getting sharper._

_Then he nodded and the knights attacked. It was difficult to tell what was happening around him. Ren was only half in the battle. He was blocking the onslaught rather than trying to block and attack. He wasn't trying to win, all he wanted was a distraction from the pain that was sure to ensue shortly._

_He was pulling on your force signature as hard as he could ignoring his protesting muscles. He would make this work, he would not fail. The tighter he held onto your signature the more he hurt and angrier he became._ Why was this so hard? Why was this so painful? _He channelled this aggression into defending himself against the continual stabs, slices and lobs his knights were hammering him with._

_He yelled out in pain as his joints started to lock up, he pushed through, pulling even tighter on the bond between the two of you. With each defensive swing of his saber he cried out in pain and each scream from his lips made him angrier._ He was not weak!

_Suddenly the golden tether he was holding onto so tightly snapped and everything stopped. The force of it was so extreme he fell onto his knees. Immediately his knights ceased their attack. Had he done it? Was that it? He examined himself momentarily. The warm powerful surge of excess force energy was absent from his body._

_A sick feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. Desperately he pushed his force signature out trying to find yours. He couldn't sense it._

_He pushed the knights away and stormed out the door of the training room. He walked faster than he had ever had before, moving down the hallways towards your cell. He couldn't feel your signature. He knew it as well as he knew his, if it was here he should be able to sense it. But he couldn't and for some inexplicable reason that had his heart racing._

_Two uniformed officers were standing by the chrome door to the prison block. They stood at full attention upon seeing Ren heading straight for them with purpose._

_"Follow me," he said and the men came without question._

_He was glad his mask had a deep voice moderator as the adrenaline coursing through his body right now surely would have made his normal voice sound uneven._

_Ren saw your cell door just ahead. Before he even got to it he had used the force to burst it open. Inside you were laying on the floor unnaturally still._

_"Alert the medical unit," he said far too calmly._

_"Yes sir,"_

_The two officers could feel the hostility rolling off their commander and scattered out of the room quickly. Kylo was unpredictable at the best of times, his temper had taken out more than a few officers and troopers, and right now he had the aura of a rabid dog._

_Ren bent down and picked your limp body up into his arms. You were cold, very cold and he couldn't sense a life force from you. That sent a wave of panic through him._

_You were not going to die. You offered him too much. He had never felt so much power as he did when he was drawing on your energy. You were too valuable to lose._

Everything was stiff when you had woken up. Your arms and legs wouldn't bend and your back ached like you'd been hit by a two-tonne ship. Today you could move around more comfortably, not that you had anywhere to go though.

Cuffs around your ankles kept you securely chained to your bed. When you'd asked why they were necessary you'd been met with a blunt response of "Commander Ren's orders"

Speaking of C _ommander Ren_ he hadn't shown his face the entire time you'd been locked up in the medical bay. you conceded that there was no reason why he would visit, he had clearly grown tired of you and kicked you out of his quarters.

Although, a part of you had hoped that he would show, to check in on you at least once since he was most likely the reason you were in here. The last thing you remember was him yanking on your connection and then you wake up 2 cycles later you're cuffed to a med bed with tubes coming out of you.

The worst part is that no one in the medical staff will talk to you about what happened. All you had been told was that you had an accident but you were stable now. That's what made you assume you being here had everything to do with Kylo and nothing to do with an accident. They were all so _scared_ to mention anything to do with him.

"How are you feeling today?" a small nurse said to announce his presence in the room.

He had come to take your stats a few times. He was the most pleasant with you, at least he didn't ignore you completely when you spoke.

"Better thank you" you answered immediately.

Any conversation was better than no conversation.

Your muscles didn't ache as much and you could breathe without the oxygen nasal tube so you were improving. You moved to push yourself up in the bed into a more seated position and your foot pulled against your restraints painfully.

Last night was the first night you had slept without medical intervention and you had moved in your sleep, you had had very vivid dreams, and you must have been pulling on the cuffs because when you woke this morning your ankles were red and raw.

"Any chance I can get these removed? They're starting to irritate my skin" you said pointing to the silver chain at the end of the bed.

"They can't come off. Comman-" he started but you interrupted having heard this a thousand times already

"Commander Ren's orders I know, I know. It just hurts" you sighed.

You couldn't expect him to take them off, the poor nurse was terrified of the cloaked bastard, you had hoped that maybe he could loosen them slightly give you more wriggle room.

Still, terrified as he was he went to your ankles and examined them briefly. They were very red, a bit more rubbing and they would start to bleed.

"I'll see if I can bandage them to stop the chaffing," he said finally, making a note on his levitating holopad.

He moved back up to your head and was making notes of the numbers on the large monitor that recorded your every breath and heart fluctuation. The silence was deafening.

"I suppose you still won't tell me what happened?" you'd asked this question to every person and droid that had come into your room since you woke up, and each time you were met with silence. You were fed up with it, you wanted to know what had happened to you. This time was no different. The nurse looked at you briefly then averted his gaze staring far too intently at the holopad.

"This is not fair. It's my body and I want to know!" The nurse looked at you apologetically.

"Maker, he is such a control freak! Why can't I know?! It's not like I can go anywhere anyway," you said moving your legs so the shackles clanked loudly against the metal of the bed,

"He hasn't even bothered to stop by, make sure I'm alive, I mean I could be dead for all he knows"

That made the nurse sigh audibly, he was over your ranting, "He is sent updates. I will be back later to collect your stats"

With that, he left and you were alone, once again.

So Kylo was sent updates? Big whoop.

You couldn't help but imagine him hunched over his small desk examining your medical reports, reading every word carefully to make sure you were in good health.

But he wouldn't be doing that. Because he didn't care. He was Kylo Ren and you were 100 per cent completely disposable to him.

You were annoyed. At Kylo, at being stuck in bed, at not knowing _why_ you were stuck in bed- and you were about to dig into a rather colourful bowl of fruit when the door to your room opened. Expecting it to be the nurse again you said: "did you feel pity for the cripple and change your mind about telling me?"

But when the figure emerged from behind the curtain it was a very sharply dressed man with brilliant red hair. You took in his pristine uniform and rigid posture. This guy radiated arrogance.

"Hello," he said brightly making his way to your bedside.

"Uh hi?" His long black jacket had the first order emblem embroidered on the sleeve. He looked important, and you could tell, by the way, he held himself, that he wanted to give you that impression. He was important and he did everything other than saying the words out loud to ensure you knew it.

"Glad to see you have made a swift recovery" his tone made it clear he couldn't care less that you weren't half comatose.

"Um yeah. Who are you?" you didn't bother with pleasantries, it would pain you as much as you assumed it pained him to have to keep up pretences.

The man looked at you, his eyes sweeping over your whole body. Suddenly he turned away to the table in the far corner.

"General Hux," he said as he ran a gloved finger along the length of the table. He examined the dust that had gathered on his fingertip then turned back to face you.

His eyes flashed to your restraints "I assume you can walk?"

"Yes," you replied hesitantly.

If it were anyone else you might have been excited at the idea of being taken out for a walk, but for some reason, you didn't like the way Hux was making you feel. His crisp uniform and tidy hair was too perfect. Unnaturally perfect. It made your nerves stand on edge.

"Lovely, then we shall make haste, the Supreme Leader doesn't like to be kept waiting," he said with false enthusiasm.

"The Supreme Leader?" He clicked his fingers together and two Stormtroopers appeared from nowhere. They removed your cuffs and pulled you into a standing position.

"You're taking me to the Supreme Leader?"

You were only wearing a thin hospital gown. Looking down at your shaking legs you longed for something to put over yourself.

"Yes. He wishes to speak with you"

You didn't like this at all. Why did the Supreme Leader want to talk to you now?

"Does K…" you started to ask about Kylo but immediately thought better of it. You had no idea who this general Hux was and while you doubted he held ranking higher than Kylo you still didn't want to mention the knight, you weren't sure how Hux would react to that.

"Hmm?" the redhead asked

"Never mind," you said quickly.

Hux turned to leave and motioned that you should follow. You scurried along behind him, but before you left you grabbed the neatly folded black pullover that was placed on the table by the door. You had been eyeing this for the past few cycles but had been too shy to ask someone to pass it to you.

It was obvious who it belonged to, and you didn't want to bring any more attention to yourself than you already had.

So why did you put it on now as you followed behind General Hux?

That dark part of you bubbled with smug happiness. You wanted Hux to know whose guest you were. A subtle warning to him that Kylo would know what Hux was doing.

Those feelings and thoughts were quickly squashed by your common sense. You were wearing the shirt because the white gown you had been given was very thin and you weren't wearing anything underneath it. The pullover was merely another layer to protect your modesty, the fact that it was Kylo's was irrelevant. Mostly.

You followed Hux through the base into an elevator, the same elevator you and Kylo had taken the day he strangled you. When you stepped inside the lift with Kylo the atmosphere had hummed with a heart-throbbing tension.

You felt no such thing with Hux. In fact, you felt claustrophobic and it took all your strength not to cower away from him in the furthest corner of the small box.

What was it about this man? He had hardly spoken to you and yet you knew in your gut that this man was not to be trusted.

The elevator doors opened to an expansive space that looked a lot like what you would imagine the inside of a cave would look like. The huge walls were stone and had the first order emblem carved into them at intervals.

The room was scary but also marvellous, so unique and intimidating, you could have spent hours taking in the whole space but your attention was drawn to the gigantic blue hologram sitting in the largest throne you had ever seen.

The supreme leader you guessed.

No wonder Kylo feared him. Even if he wasn't laced with deep scars and murderous eyes, his sheer size was enough to stop you in your tracks. This was a scary dude.

"My dear, welcome" his voice boomed and echoed off the walls.

His eyes were fixed on you just as yours were fixed on him, both of you taking in one another.

"I can see why my apprentice has been keeping you to himself, what a pretty little thing you are" he chuckled and your blood curdled.

The compliment seemed to make your stomach roll like an angry ocean.

"Thank you, Hux, you are dismissed" the general nodded respectfully and left the room.

You were now alone with the Supreme Leader of the First-Order. He brought his hand to his chin and rubbed it between his thumb and index finger.

You wanted to look away but it was as if you were frozen in place, your muscles simply weren't listening to your brain's orders to run.

"What was it that he named you? Kiera, yes, and a very apt name it is" Kylo named me? He picked the name? You had thought it was the Leader's choice, Kylo had certainly given you that impression. Why had he lied?

It didn't matter. You had grown to like the name but you still loathed the implication of its meaning. You were not dark, not like Kylo. The name was better suited for him. He was the one who willingly slaughtered innocents.

"You disagree?" he said.

Finally, your body regained some control and you were able to peel your eyes off the hologram and stare at your bare, dirty feet.

"Answer me girl!" he demanded. The tone of his voice almost made your knees buckle. You answered honestly and quickly,

"Yes," the response was small, meek compared to his booming volume.

The Leader was quiet for a moment before he spoke again, "You think you're better than him. That you're not tainted by the darkness" you looked up at the throned figure innocently and he laughed, "my girl I can see your every thought just as I see his. You're more alike than you know"

Yeah, you had heard that before, Kylo had been trying to prove just how 'alike' you both were since that first day in the interrogation chamber.

Snoke was quiet for a moment before he spoke, "He hasn't told you?"

That got your attention, you knew Ren was keeping things from you and you had just made peace with the fact that you might never know why you were being kept locked up. The thought had never occurred to you that the Supreme Leader would know these things and that he might tell you. Hope sprang to life within your heart

"I don't suppose I blame him," he continued, "but perhaps if I told you it may…. Help things along"

"What things?" you said almost rudely

He smirked at your eagerness, "All in due time my dear. First I must tell you that you are both guilty of murder, but you already knew that didn't you?" he raised the ridge above his right eye.

Your mind flashed once again to Tuel. But that wasn't murder that was self-defence.

"Yes, you are both murders, but what you don't know is that you killed that man with the very same powers Ren possesses" the alien informed you.

"Power?" Kylo had told you that you had power and you had all but laughed in his face, was there an element of the truth in his words?

Suddenly your attention was drawn to a familiar mechanical voice behind you "Master"

"Ah Kylo Ren, glad you could join us"

Kylo stood next to you and knelt respectfully. You stared dumbfound.

"Rise boy, I was just informing your little guest on her abilities"

His head snapped up and he took a step towards the Supreme Leader "Master? Is that wise?"

"Do not question me! I believe it will be useful to you" he reprimanded his apprentice. Kylo submissively nodded in response and fell back in line with you.

Looking between the hologram and the knight you questioned them both "What power?"

Snoke was the one who answered you, "The force"


End file.
